Scarlet's letters

Race Report: Memorial Day Crit.

2011-06-01T11:17:00.000-07:00

It was a milestone day at Casa Alarcon this weekend, as the 11 year-old participated in her first bicycle race. She’s been asking to try racing for about a year, and we finally agreed since the race would be a criterium, with only 4 girls participating (thus addressing Helicopter Mom’s concerns about crashes). I was thrilled to see her keep up with the 2 girls who had racing experience. I was even more happy to hear her tell the story of the race after the event:

-          “We agreed early on that we would take turns leading – at each turn, the person in back would move into the front.”
-          “Last year, the 2 experienced girls raced together. When one of them crashed, the other waited for her. It was only fair.”
-          “But they weren’t going to give each other any room at the finish – you still want to win.”
-          “We thought we would each take our own line at the end. But we would work together until then.”

If the race had been 1 lap shorter, Gabriella would have held strong. As it was, she finished 3rd by ¼ lap. Once she got her breath back, she went over to congratulate the girl who finished 4^th on completing the race. While waiting for the awards, all the girls – both this age group and the next – were chatting, rehashing the race, and goofing around together.

I loved seeing the camaraderie throughout the event. It’s a great reminder that even in competitions, there is a sense of alignment. These girls are doing something not many others can, or choose to. They can be proud of their own accomplishments and still support each other. What a great lesson to learn at 11.

[NB: I'd prefer to post the pic of all 3 racers, but since I don't have parental permission, we'll go with this one!]

Eleven

2011-01-04T17:54:00.000-08:00

I never believed in the concept of a 'Tween. Frankly, I thought it was a gimmick dreamed up by the folks at Disney to keep the money flowing when girls are past the princess stage. But, I am standing (sitting...) here today to issue a correction. Gentle Readers, behold my Tween:

So, now that we know a Tween actually does exist - how would we know to identify one? A few pointers, from my position of vast experience.

She reads the Twilight books over and over. Usually while wearing her footy pajamas.
She texts all the time, to the 3 other friends who have phones.
She plays the Glee videos on YouTube again and again. Unless she's watching Wizards of Waverly Place.
Her iPod is constantly playing Katy Perry, Glee, or Pink. Or any Broadway musical song you can sing to in the mirror.
She is obsessed with getting her hair to lie perfectly flat. But can't remember the last time she showered.
She runs on pasta, apples and soy pudding, plus anything you can buy from Powell's Sweet Shoppe.
She only wants to wear clothes from Abercrombie & Fitch. But she can't understand why they have such revealing models in their ads.
She tries on said clothes, and realizes that only the T-shirts fit (if you roll up the sleeves to your elbows.) Needs another 3 inches to make the jeans work.
She can't wait to go en pointe in ballet. By the way today's theme dress for dance class is purple. As chosen by the tween and her dance BFFs, without notifying the teacher.
She wishes Mom would help out more at school, but is mortified that we brought cupcakes to her class at the end of the day today.

She is 11 today. She's bright, beautiful, and a constant source of laughter and happiness. Happy Birthday!

The Sunday Salon: 2010 in Review

2011-01-02T05:00:00.000-08:00

I've always been a reader. It's my way of keeping sane. It's how I turn off the voices in my head at night so I can sleep. Other people meditate. I read.

Friends often ask how I can read so much. I've often wondered how much is "so much". So last year, I decided to try an experiment and track how much I read. This wasn't done with a goal of increasing my reading, or changing reading behaviors. I just thought it would be interesting to measure how much I read.

I decided to keep this simple, so I used Goodreads. For each book I attempted in 2010, I tagged it to a specific shelf, added a rating and the month I finished. Sometimes I added a review; more often I didn't. Again, reviewing wasn't the point. This was really just a thought experiment.

And after a yearlong experiment, I can now report. "So much" = 22,168 pages. That's 52 books completed, and another 6 attempted but abandoned. I'm amused that it turned out to be roughly 1 book/week, although that really wasn't the goal. A few surprises also stood out in the data. Roughly 25% of the books were Non-fiction/Memoir, which is higher than I expected. Only 2 books were re-reads. That's lower than I expected, and may lead me to rethink how many books I actually should be keeping on the bookshelves. However 1/3 of the books are either by authors I've read before, or authors who I read multiple books from this year. So there's a high degree of familiarity on the list.

All in all, I liked this experiment. It's nice to look back on the year remembering the books I read, thinking about how they reflect my needs at the time, and how they impacted my outlook as well. It's an experiment worth turning into a habit and continuing into 2011. Why not join me? You can add me as a friend, or follow me on Goodreads - or start your own tracking project.

Cheers to good reading in 2011!

Virtual Advent Tour: It can’t be Christmas until….

2010-12-09T00:23:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the Virtual Advent Tour. This is a special time in the Blogosphere, when some of us are taking time out from our usual posting, to talk about what Christmas means to us.

I think most people have a thought in their heads about when it can be Christmas. It might be when the tree is decorated, or when the Advent calendar starts, or when they buy the first present. For me, it can’t be Christmas until Peggy sings.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve looked forward to Christmas for the music. As a child, I loved our going-to-bed ritual during the Christmas season. My parents would light the Angel Chimes, and we would sing Christmas Carols while the lights flickered and the angels spun. Each person got to choose a carol each night, and my non-musical father could be counted on to come in with the Ho-ho-ho’s and sound effects on cue.

On the actual eve of Christmas, we dutifully attended church services, a process that typically led to a lot of chaos (and music). There was the inappropriate hilarity as my Mom tried to sign without a hymnal and missed 80% of the words. I’m sure the parishioners wondered why the entire Johnson pew was shaking and crying – it’s hard to laugh quietly! There was also the joy of hearing certain family members sing out loud on their favorite songs. My Grandpa has been gone almost 14 years, but I can still hear his voice every time we sing Hark the Herald Angels. And of course, there was the moment of wonder (and fear) as we lit REAL CANDLES for Silent Night. Who thought it was a good idea to give those candles to kids?

As I grew older, Christmas music was still my mainstay, but the timing changed. Singing in choirs, it’s not uncommon to start practicing for the holiday as early as October – talk about rushing the season! It’s hard to get excited about The Holly and the Ivy in October. But in December, even if I feel like it’s my 5 millionth time on the song, it’s the first time my audience is hearing it. My gift to them, whether it’s for 2 minutes, or 2 hours, is to share in the beautiful words and music that have been used to express the joy of the season.

(Not my choir - but one of my favorite arrangements)

I’ve learned over the years that Christmas music takes many forms. It’s much more than Rudolph or Silent Night. Performing songs like Fum, Fum, Fum, from Spain, or Bogoroditse Djevo, from Russia has opened me to the ways different cultures celebrate. The songs may tell the full Christmas story, focus on a specific person, or just sing the joy of the event. I love that every year in our Chorale Concert, we present different music. As a singer, I get to learn something new, and tell a new story to the audience. But I also get back a wondrous gift in creating this music with my fellow choir members.

In every Chorale concert, there’s a moment. It’s a moment when you realize that you have just transcended the words and the music, and made art. It’s a magical time, made even more special when it happens during a Christmas concert. And there is one time every year when I can guarantee that moment will happen. Peggy will be singing “O Holy Night” to a packed audience in the Mission. And when she hits the high note, the entire audience breathes as one. I’ve seen it happen year after year, and that’s when I know: Now, it can be Christmas.

The Sunday Salon: Room

2010-11-14T10:00:00.000-08:00

Room by Emma Donoghue

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I'm still mopping up from finishing this novel. Not mopping up in terms of a few tears, but really deeply moved. To be honest, I'm surprised at my reaction.

I was hesitant to read this at first. I've had bad luck in the past with child, or child-like narrators, and knowing the subject matter, I wasn't sure I could deal with the themes. But I also wanted to read this early if I was going to read it at all - getting in before I heard other people's opinions, or had the plot spoiled for me. I think that reading this book early was the right decision.

I'm not going to go into the plot as I don't want to spoil it for others. Let me just say that Jack is bright, inquisitive, adaptable and heart breaking. I've seen other reviews that question how he can be advanced in his language skills but still not use proper grammar. It made perfect sense to me that a young child can be advanced and need education at the same time. The way he adjusts throughout the book seemed pretty reasonable to me, and his progression reflects the way I've seen children grow. While I would have liked a bit more development for some of the other characters, I think the child narrator also limited some authorial choices.

This was a 24 hour read for me - couldn't put it down, and ended it in tears. Part of that is the content, and I'm sure part is also due to projecting both on Jack and Ma. This was not an easy book to set aside. I needed to know what happened next, and what it meant for Jack. It's not a perfect book (and NOT recommended for Book Club due to our rules on books with children in them), but the writing and characterization was well done, and I know several of the concepts will stay with me for a while. Kudos to the author for bringing together questions of individuality, existentialism, child psychology and resiliency without preaching, or condescending. This book could easily have been maudlin, or made sweeping statements about the human condition. By personalizing the situation through Jack, it felt both more real, and more impactful. For me, that qualifies it for high marks.

View all my reviews

The Sunday Salon: Let the Great World Spin

2010-11-07T11:00:00.000-08:00

Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I never know what to expect when a book gets classified as "Literary Fiction". Does that mean it's a Deep and Meaningful book? Should I be looking for allusions and symbolism? Will there be a plot? Most importantly, will I enjoy it? (I am, after all reading for fun. If I was reading for work, I'd be shopping in the business stacks.)

So starting without expectations, I struggled through the first part of this book. I couldn't identify with any characters, and found the situation hard to follow. I nearly gave up several times. But each time I was about to give up, the story shifted to another viewpoint, and I'd say "ok, maybe this one will catch on." And somewhere around 1/3 through, the story lifted off the page. Maybe it was that I finally connected with a character. But I think more likely, I finally stopped reading to connect, and started appreciating the language. Because, above all, this book is beautifully written. There are passages of pain, grief, remorse and grace. Regardless of the characterization, there are images that will stick with me long after the story ends. I know I'll remember the walker stuck in the snow, or becoming one with the wind. Or Gloria, walking through New York City in her opera shoes, then responding to the call, although she doesn't know why. Above all, I'll remember the concept that there are connections. Some are seen, some are felt, some echo over time. Whether you call it fate, or just a strange coincidence, those connections matter, and draw us together while the world continues to spin.

This isn't a book for everyone. But its a great book for writers and those who want to explore how language and imagery drive the tone and impact of the novel. You have to work for the reward in this book - but it's worth the effort.

View all my reviews

The Fling at 20.

2010-10-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

It's the 20th anniversary of the Fling! For those not in the know, a little background is in order. Neither of us was looking for something permanent when we first met. In fact, right after our first official date (Halloween weekend 1990), Ramon and I independently told friends that this was "just a fling" and we would see how long it would last. 20 years is a long time for a fling...here's to the next 20!

In honor of the anniversary, here's YogaMoms marriage meme.

1. Where/how did you meet?
Fall of my sophomore year of college. Ramon helped me moved my boxes into my dorm room. (He disputes this, and says I was hanging around his room after the first day of school.) We both agree that he carried me across campus after I sprained my ankle at a party right around this time.

2. How long have you known each other?
That was September 1990. 20 years and counting!

3. How long after you met did you start dating?
If we count the Fling as the start of dating, let's call it 6 weeks.

4. How long did you date before getting engaged?
Just over 3 years. He proposed Christmas eve 1993.

5. How long was your engagement?
Eight months. We wanted a summer wedding,

6. How long have you been married?
14 years last August.

7. What is your anniversary?
August 27.

8. How many people came to your wedding reception?
About 100.

9. What kind of cake did you serve?
A very flat cake that refused to rise (the bakers at the Daily Bread had their summer help work on the cake, and it showed!). I don't remember eating it, but remember my mother being horribly embarrassed with the way it looked..

10. Where was your wedding?
We were married at Redstone Inn. Redstone is one of my favorite places, and I was so happy that Ramon agreed to a Colorado wedding.

11. What did you serve for the meal?
I have no idea. But I do remember lots of White Zinfandel being stored under the wedding party's table.

12. How many people were in your bridal party?
Ramon had Jason, Darren and Reading, I had Claire, Lauri and Stacy.

13. Are you still friends with them?
Yes, thanks to the wonders of Facebook.

14. Did your spouse cry during the wedding ceremony?
No,because he was singing the La-La-La song from Sesame Street to keep himself from crying.

15. Most special moment of your wedding day?
My dad blessing us after escorting me down the aisle.

16. Any funny moments?
Rain sprinkles making the ink run on the ministers script.
Darren and Claire with the bouquet/garter.
Post-reception hot tub party.

17. Any big disasters?
I blocked them out.

18. Where did you honeymoon?
Club Med, Guaymas, Mexico. Beautiful location, terrible rooms (single beds? on a honeymoon??)

19. For how long?
One week.

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change?
Better photographer and flowers.

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Right side, away from the wall.

22. What size is your bed?
King, to accommodate the husband who prefers to stretch out while sleeping.

23. Greatest strength as a couple?
We can't stay mad at each other. One of us usually finds the humor in the situation, and we're back to normal.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple?
Time. Not enough together because there are so many interesting things to do.

25. Who literally pays the bills?
He does. If it were up to me, we'd have the worst credit rating on the planet (see: too many interesting things to do)

26. What is your song?
Wonderful Tonight

27. What did you dance your first dance to?
Beautiful in My Eyes

28. Describe your wedding dress?
Lots of lace, and more traditional than I thought I would like.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding?
Wildflowers.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved?
No.

The Magical Month of August

2010-08-14T14:30:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, I used to think August was a magical month for our family; there were so many birthdays and events. The last few weeks of summer flew by in a haze of barbecue smoke and peach fuzz.

When I was 10, I made a list in a diary so I could keep track of it all:
August 1 - Gramma Wilson's Birthday
August 3 - Cousin Conor's Birthday
August 5 - Grandpa Wilson's Birthday
August 10 - Uncle Denny's Birthday
August 20 - Grandpa Johnson's Birthday
August 29 - Mom and Dad's Birthday (Yes, that says birthday, born the same day, 2 years apart)

At 23, I added 2 more dates to the magic month:
August 21 - Jason and Claudia's anniversary
August 27 - Our anniversary

Sadly, we've lost a lot of the people who had August birthdays over the last 15 years. But we have a new reason to celebrate this year as we add another important date to the calendar:

August 14 - Claire and Randy's anniversary.
Welcome to the family Randy. Wishing you and Claire a long and happy life together, with many magical August celebrations.

Summer Camp - A Time to Fly

2010-07-22T16:30:00.000-07:00

"When you reach the little house,

the place your journey started,

you will recognize it, although it will seem

much smaller than you remember..."

-- Instructions, by Neil Gaiman

Tomorrow, the 10 year old returns after 3 weeks of sleep away camp. 3 days later, her brother leaves for his 2 week trip to camp. Each year at this point, I'm floating on waves of emotion. My kids are gone. They are out there in the world, doing things I don't know about, and who knows what will happen to them?

And that's exactly the point. Because while they are at camp, they are doing exactly what kids are supposed to do. They are exploring, learning and growing. They are trying on new personalities, meeting new people, making mistakes, and finding new loves. They have the freedom to test and try these things in a safe environment, without overbearing parents telling them "no".

Last year, I explicitly asked my daughter not to go rafting at camp because the river was high. She went over the rapids on the very first day. I suggested to my son that he just go with the flow since he was going to a new camp. One week later he performed a solo in concert for the first time. Every year both kids return full of stories and new things to tell. "I like omelets." "You should have seen us at the dance!" "Have you ever read Grimm's fairy tales? They are awesome." "I climbed Mount Elbert!" "Can I go back next year?"

So tomorrow, I'll be looking at my daughter and marveling at how she's grown. I'll do the same in 2 more weeks with my son. These times of separation are so hard as a parent. But when they come back, the house is a little smaller, the kids are a little bigger, and we are all a better family for having had this time of growth.

Sebastian is 14!

2010-07-02T15:00:00.000-07:00

I promised to hold off on the baby pictures until he turns 18, but that still means I have *some* freedom to embarrass him, right?

2002: A dinosaur-loving 6 year old, with Dad in his "Big Mac" stage.

One of my favorite pictures - first year at YCamp, age 8.

Just after receiving a bead for honesty at campfire.

Christmas Morning 2006.
Ipod, and Lego Bionicles were the big hits at 10.

2008 - Spain! An incredible 10 day trip.

2010 - Graduating 8th grade.
Today he's 14, and he's off to High School in the fall.

Sebastian, we are all so proud of you, and can't wait to see you take LGHS by storm. Although you decided at age 3 not to become President (because you thought it would take too much time away from your future wife!) the future is still yours to shape. Whether you become a musician or a lawyer, or even President - I'm sure your wife will understand - we are all excited to see you continue to grow, and look forward to celebrating your successes. Happy Birthday!

Book Review: The Postmistress

2010-06-16T16:00:00.000-07:00

The Postmistress by Sarah Blake

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
This is a strong debut novel from Sarah Blake. I saw a comment from an independent bookseller that it's the kind of book that should be passed on to everyone who comes into the store and I agree. However, this isn't a summer beach read, and if you are squeamish, this is not for you. I SO wanted this to be a 5 star book, and it was close. In the end though, there were some difficulties that I couldn't overlook.

But that's getting ahead of myself. Let's start with the background. Set in 1940, in the run-up to WWII, The Postmistress is the story of 3 women whose lives intersect in a beach town on Cape Cod. Iris is the Postmaster (she insists there is no female variant of the name) of this small town. Emma, a lonely soul from Boston has recently married the town doctor and is eager to start her life as a wife. And Frankie is a American in London reporting on the Blitz. Iris and Emma both follow Frankie's reports and are impacted by the stories she tells.

I enjoyed the introductory sections of the novel. Although there were some strange scenes (eg Iris's visit to the doctor), they grounded the characters, and set the stage for the story. For me, though, the heart of the story was Frankie. She is the voice on the radio trying to convey the awfulness of the war. Her experiences in the Blitz and later on in France were vivid, heartwrenching, and memorable. Her interactions in Bayonne left me sobbing. Frankie's frustration at America's inability to respond to the situation in Europe is real, and resonates equally today. It's worth reading this book if only to follow Frankie.

The strength of Frankie's story is also one of the challenges with this novel. Leaving the urgency of London to return to Emma visiting the post office or Iris sorting the mail is an abrupt shift. I know the change in tone was intentional, but the result was that the scenes on the homefront felt flat. I liked Iris, and tolerated Emma, but still wanted to get back to Frankie.

One of the sub-messages coming through the book is the frailty of life. People die in the Blitz, but they also die from illness, or in accidents. There's a lot of death in the novel. and I'm not sure why, other than to point out that life is precious. It seems that some of the deaths were more authorial choices than story choices. A few less might have made the ones that really needed to advance the story more impactful. Similarly, in several cases you can see the author left in a Really Good Idea that probably should have been edited.

On the whole, this is a strong novel, and one that I hope a lot of readers will explore. It's definitely going to stay on my list for a reread sometime in the future.

Book Review: The Midwife

2010-05-21T12:27:00.000-07:00

The Midwife: A Memoir of Birth, Joy, and Hard Times by Jennifer Worth

My rating: 3 of 5 stars
This is really a 3.5 star review.

The Midwife is a memoir that follows more of a vignettes structure. Jennifer Worth has a strong voice and does a great job showing windows into her life as a Midwife in London's East End during the 1950s. The stories feel very much as if you are sitting having tea with your Gramma, hearing tales of "the olden days".

With vivid descriptions, Worth tells of challenging births, the poverty of East End, and the community and stamina of the people of the Docklands. The use of some dialect in conversation, and the Cockney glossary in the end also help set the tone. The stories are enriched with commentary on the nuns of Nonnatus House, her mentors and peers. Sister Monica Joan and Sister Julienne are especially well-drawn.

As a mom, several of the birth scenes were very real - not for the squeamish. But that reality of description helps make the scenes very immediate and memorable.

My reservation on the book is more to do with the story itself. Within the chapters it's clear that Worth is experiencing a religious awakening, but she doesn't really resolve the issue. The ending especially seems very abrupt in this regard.

Recommended for those who enjoy memoirs, or who are interested in women's health issues and history.

The Sunday Salon: Cutting For Stone

2010-04-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese

My rating: 5 of 5 stars
In the first 100 pages, I laughed, I winced, I cried, and I wondered if the rest of the book could match the opening. I'm so happy to say that it did!

Verghese has written a great story in Cutting for Stone. This isn't an easy book to quantify. It's not a romance, though there are romantic elements. It's not a saga, though it covers 3 continents and about 50 years. In the end, it's a story of a life. Of the actions you take, and the impacts they have on those around you.

Set primarily in Ethiopia, Cutting for Stone tells the story of medicine in Africa during the 1950s. It reflects on the politics of a changing nation. It discusses advancements in public health and medical procedures. And through it all, it shows the differences in personal choices, whether they are due to religion, to politics or to personality.

I loved the rich characters in the story, and applaud Verghese for giving secondary characters room to show their personalities rather than being stock figures. The choice of stories and idioms (and the lengthy author's note) show that the author wanted to differentiate the characters while also grounding them in their setting. While some of the character's choices were incredibly difficult to read (note to the squeamish--there are some detailed medical descriptions that might be tough to handle) they were appropriate to their culture and time frame.

On the whole, this is a wonderful book for people who like big, broad stories filled with interactions between interesting characters. I loved it!

The Sunday Salon: Devil's Brood

2010-03-28T14:49:00.000-07:00

Devil's Brood by Sharon Kay Penman

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I've been a huge fan of Sharon Kay Penman for years. I remember discovering Here Be Dragons at the University Avenue bookstore, and falling in love with Joanna and Llewelyn. I looked forward to each release of her Eleanor of Aquitaine series with anticipation. Eleanor is such an interesting historical person, and I couldn't wait to see how Penman would interpret her life, marriage, and subsequent relationships with her sons.

It's because I was so interested in Eleanor, that I had difficulty loving Devil's Brood. Yes, we are past the part of the drama where Eleanor takes center stage, and to be true to history, Penman had to broaden the scope to follow Henry and Eleanor's children as they fought, intrigued, loved and lost. But in staying focused on the historical parts, the more personal story of Eleanor got set aside. Instead we see quite a lot of Henry trying to manage his kingdom, trying to preserve his legacy for his children and trying (and ultimately failing) to balance his roles as a father and a king.

There's a lot of history to be covered in the timespan of this book, and Penman again shows her commitment to historical accuracy. Her authors note shows a great focus on research, and minimal adjustments to the timeline for the sake of plot. Where she offers alternate explanations, (eg George's death) she gives her reasons - thus satisfying the more purist of historical readers. My only argument is that the sieges, and battles are not that compelling. Penman excels when she focuses on the individual interactions, and personal responses to the larger historical moments. Her scenes where Henry atones at Beckett's tomb and gut-wrenching. She manages to convey the scale of Henry's despair, and his commitment to atoning. Henry is a man of his time, and willing to do what is needed to preserve his kingdom.

But what about Eleanor? She's imprisoned by Henry for the greater part of this novel, and thus, not such a key part of the action. However, Eleanor casts a long shadow, and much of the personal focus within the novel is in response to her imprisonment. One of Penman's strongest character moments comes in Eleanor's comment about her marriage: "Harry has always seen me first and foremost as his wife. But I have always seen myself first and foremost as Duchess of Aquitaine." That conflict between marriage and kingship is at the heart of the break between Eleanor and Henry, and it leads to conflict between their children and their estates. Throughout the novel, when Eleanor and Henry come back into focus, it is usually around shared grief for their children, or shared concern at their actions. Over time they reach a truce - you could call it a maturing, but I read it more as Eleanor choosing not to fight rather than Henry really understanding Eleanor.After Henry's death, Eleanor re-emerges as the strong, charismatic, smart ruler she has always been, and secures the English throne for her son Richard.

Devil's Brood is not for the faint of heart. It's a long read, with a lot of detail. But if you have been following the story of Henry and Eleanor, or would like an alternative interpretation of The Lion in Winter, this is a very worthwhile investment. Penman once again breathes life into these people who lived, loved and died centuries ago. And she shows why their legacy and stories have long endured.

When Life Gives You Lemons....

2010-03-22T14:41:00.000-07:00

Honorary Gramma Maureen stopped by a while ago with some ginormous lemons.

Seriously, they were huge!

So what do you do with really large lemons?

Make lemonade!

1 cup of lemon juice makes the 10 yearold happy.

4 cups is enough for a full pitcher.

Thanks Maureen! (and thanks Dad for helping with the juicer!)

12 on the 12th: March

2010-03-12T22:41:00.000-08:00

Another Month already? This one came up quickly. Let's start the show...

The breakfast of champions. (Of course, in our house, no one agrees on cereal - we have 4 boxes open at all times.)

Sebastian is sure that the spoon is critical to a good cereal experience - gotta have the biggest one possible.

Ramon doesn't care as long as there's Kashi. (Note similarity of eyebrows between father and son.)

It's Hollywood dress-up day at school. Gabriella is red-carpet ready.

My new workspace - a corner office with a view, and a built-in gym!

After school pick-up - caught this picture just as the rain started.

We thought the Brunnera died in the December frost. Most have recovered and now have darling little blue blossoms.

Is she a dog or a muppet? Either way, she'd like to have some cookies please.

Speaking of cookies, what's wrong with this picture? Ramon refused to order Thin Mints since they have partially hydrogenated oils. Mom and kids appreciate his health concerns, but think a once-a-year treat like Girl Scout cookies should be ok.

3 hours of dance practice on Friday night, and she still has energy to rock out to the Beatles while we're making dinner.

Aww...look at the cute married couple....

Mrs. A's Salsa Buena is the best salsa on the planet. Seriously, you should buy some. It helps that it's made by the mom of one of Sebastian's friends - but it's also just plain good.

The Sunday Salon: Presentation Zen Design

2010-03-07T16:16:00.000-08:00

Presentation Zen Design by Garr Reynolds

My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This is the book I wanted Presentation Zen to be. It covers much of the same ground as the original, emphasizing the need to deliver presentations that are grounded, engaging and compelling rather than Death by Powerpoint. But as the name implies, this book is more focused on the design of the slides rather than the Zen story telling.

As someone who spends a lot of time creating and delivering presentations, I appreciated the abundance of tips and tricks - from websites for creating color schemes, to details on text placement. Many of the ideas presented also can be used when you have to work within a corporate template, which was one of my complaints from the original.

Garr Reynolds is on a roll - this should be required reading before anyone is allowed to play with a Powerpoint presentation. Well done!

Thank You for Apologizing

2010-03-03T17:00:00.000-08:00

The phone rang Friday at 8:15. Ramon was out - he and the 10yo were on their usual bike ride to school. So I picked it up.

Hi, it's S.C. [school parent, son was on baseball team 3 years ago...probably calling to ask for a volunteer.]

Is your husband home? [oh, it must be about Dads on Campus]

No? Ok. Well, I wanted to call and apologize. [huh?]

I just made a boneheaded driving mistake, and cut him off in the bike lane. And I feel awful. [...]

5 million thoughts crowded into my head, but the first (and lasting) one, was gratitude. Not for my husband being safe. But gratitude that she thought to call.

Since we moved to LG, Ramon has been cycling the kids to school. Every day, unless it's pouring rain, he's out the door with them around 8am. The type of cycling has changed over time - the 13yo now rides with friends, instead of with Dad; the 10yo moved off the tandem and rides her own bike - but day in and day out, they are on the bike to and from school.

And day in and day out, I worry about the ride. In the beginning, I had neighbors call me and argue that it wasn't safe for my kids to ride to school. They've told me that my husband isn't following the rules of the road; that it would be better (and safer) if they rode on the sidewalk; that they worry that "other" drivers won't look out for the kids. One neighbor has been known to race out of her driveway when she sees the kids coming, so that she won't get stuck behind them. The kids (and husband) have been cut-off, have had cars illegally turn right in front of them, have had cars race past and then stop in the bike lane...you get the idea.

But never, in 5 years of riding bicycles to school, has anyone apologized for their actions. Until now.

So thank you S.C. Thank you for being self-aware enough to realize you made a mistake, and honest enough to own up to it. I'm sure you are more aware of cyclists at school today than you were last week. And I'm grateful that you were willing to reach out and apologize.

[image from K e v i n, used under CC]

12 on the 12th: February

2010-02-12T22:55:00.000-08:00

It's Friday night, and after a nice family dinner out (for once Sebastian didn't have fencing practice), we are sitting and watching the Olympic Opening Ceremonies. The Parade of Nations is a good time for multi-tasking, so it's great that it's time for another 12 on the 12th.

Dress Like Your Favorite Book Character day at school. Gabriella was Annabeth from Percy Jackson and the Olympians. She LOVED the costume, but got some very surprised looks from the boys at school who dressed up like Percy.

Sebastian wasn't really a fan of the blonde wig.

Ramon hard at work at Intellisport HQ.

We have a very confused peach tree in the backyard. It thinks it's Spring!

Nina playing out back. "You got any cookies?"

Valentine's Day party at school. Any guesses what Gabriella wanted for Valentines?

My favorite cyclist. Nice helmet hair.

Sebastian is FINALLY reading Ender's Game. I've been trying to get him to read it for about 2 years.

It's impossible to get both dogs to face the camera at the same time, but Gabriella wanted to try. Riley's got a bad case of reflection eyes.

Mirror images.

Out to dinner - Italian - but decided to bring our own bottle (acquired during the Cycling training in Solvang 2 weeks ago).

Girl time at dinner!

The Sunday Salon: Away

2010-01-31T11:00:00.000-08:00

Away by Amy Bloom

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

It's the first abandonment of 2010! This was actually a 2009 Book Club choice, and I finally got around to it in January. The story started out promising, with strong writing about a pogrom, and a young woman's emigration to America. The initial scenes depicting Lillian's arrival in New York, and adjustment to the new world were strong. But about 150 pages in, I realized I didn't care. I didn't care about her experiences in New York, or her travel across America. I liked the prostitute in Seattle, but I didn't really care if she helped our heroine or not. And now, Lillian is in a workhouse, somewhere between Washington and Alaska....and I still don't care. I hope she finds her daughter, and lives a long and happy life, but to be honest, I don't care enough about her or her story to follow it to its end.

My apologies to Amy Bloom, because I thought much of the imagery and language was great. I enjoyed her narrative device of showing us a glimpse of what happened to the ancillary characters after they passed out of Lillian's life. But as the poet said - Life is short, so read the best books first. This one wasn't worth finishing.

12 on the 12th: January

2010-01-12T23:05:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time I was a scrapbooker...and then I went back to work, and that hobby pretty much died. With the millenium baby turning 10 and the Michigan baby registering for high school, I'm very conscious right now that "the days are long, but the years are short". I want to make sure we don't forget the day-to-day activitites that are so much a part of our family. So rather than save up pictures for those special times, I've decided to try the 12 on the 12th meme. The idea is simple - on the 12th of each month, you take and post 12 pictures. My hope is that these pictures will help round out the birthday/Christmas/vacation stories.

So here, without further ado, is my first 12 on the 12th.

1.) A rainy day in California gives the front steps extra character.

2.) We leave for dance in 2 minutes. Where's my hair holder?

3.) Nina loves her soccer ball.

4.) Here's the front half of Sebastian's binder, which is now in 2 pieces.

5.) Cuties! We're buying them in bulk, and the kids are eating 2-3 per day.

6.) Dad's home from his Business Trip!

7.) And he brought presents!

8.) Super crazy muscle builder!

9.) Yay! Nina found people to play with her!

10.) Math homework never ends.

11.) Documented proof. He's officially taller than me.

12.) Thanks for doing the dishes, Dad!

She's 10!

2010-01-04T21:46:00.000-08:00

Who would have thought the millennium baby could already be 10? All of the decade in review articles should have been a clue, but it's still a shock to think that we're here. After all, 10 years ago, she was a 6lb2oz peanut, and now she's a 4'6" preteen.

So what do you get the girl who has everything? A place to put it, of course!

All purple, all the time.

Note Harrods the Bunny, still on the bed.

More storage, and she's trying to put the "more childish" things in the bottom cabinet.

But we still need room for important keepsakes, like special bears and the American Girls.

She wanted a more sophisticated room....I think we got there. Although I'd love for her to stay little forever, I'm so proud of the wonderful person she's become. Happy birthday to a special girl, with many more milestones still to come!

The Sunday Salon: The Angel's Game

2010-01-03T00:01:00.000-08:00

The Angel's Game by Carlos Ruiz Zafón

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I had to wait for this one. It was on sale in Spain when I visited 2 summers ago, and if I'd had any Spanish ability I would have bought it immediately. Since my Spanish is limited to Sesame Street phrases, I wisely chose to wait for the English translation. But I've been anticipating this book for 2 years.

Once again, I found myself racing through a book, knowing I should slow down and enjoy the text, but completely unable to do so. This is one of those books where I'm just sure something is going to happen soon, and so I keep reading One More Chapter, waiting for the resolution. Unfortunately, those resolutions come infrequently, and don't always satisfy. I'm not sure if Zafon was unwilling to payoff the tension he created, or if I was just waiting for more, but I ended the book going "That's it? Really?" I'm not sure what I was waiting for - I knew better than to hope for a happy ending - but there had to be more than we were given in the book.

I love Zafon's view of Barcelona in the 30s, and the film noir undertones add additional shading to all the descriptions. The connections to Shadow of the Wind also were great. I liked that they were presented, but didn't interrupt the flow of the novel. I continue to hope that someday I'll find the Cemetery of Lost Books on a trip to Barcelona.

Overall, this is a really enjoyable book. It's not quite the revelation that Shadow of the Wind was, but still a wonderful tone, great plot and compelling read. Highly recommended.

Worth the Investment: the Unclutterer

2009-11-17T11:59:00.000-08:00

Unclutter Your Life in One Week by Erin Doland

My rating: 3 of 5 stars
A fast read, and great launchpoint for working on some organizational projects.

I was a bit put off by the organization around a week, as it was hard to see the connection between some of the topics (eg why wouldn't you address your home office on the same day you address your work office, since the principles are similar?) I also think the uncluttering of work content (email, meetings, etc) seemed out of place when mixed in with uncluttering of physical spaces.

However, there are a lot of practical, tangible suggestions, and I suspect most readers will come away with several ideas to implement. That's a great achievement, and makes this book definitely worth the reading investment.

For those who aren't interested in the book form, I'd highly recommend subscribing to the Unclutterer blog. They have great content in easy-to-consume format.

The Sunday Salon: The Magician's Book

2009-08-23T17:26:00.000-07:00

The Magician's Book: A Skeptic's Adventures in Narnia by Laura Miller

My rating: 3 of 5 stars
This book is both an appreciation and a critical study of Narnia and C.S. Lewis, it's creator. I tore through the first half - nodding at familiar references, and happy to realize that there were others who approached Narnia as I did. (I wasn't the only one to say "Oh, it's about God" at the end of the Last Battle!)

Miller provides good analysis, and draws a complex picture of Lewis and the events that shaped his design of Narnia. She draws many connections among the books that I had not considered, and I'm inspired to read the series again. I'm also equally committed to letting my kids discover the series on their own.

So, why 3 stars? Two primary issues that interfered with the book for me:
1. I got bogged down in Miller's discussion of the Lewis/Tolkein relationship. Yes, it's pivotal to understanding Lewis. And yes, it's worthwhile to draw distinctions between Narnia and Middle Earth. But there's just too much there. I think Miller would have been better to cover it, and push the reader to other references who have focused on this topic extensively. As it is, there's too much weight given to this topic than others, but not enough to really treat the topic well.
2. Miller's personalization of the story grated after a while. While I appreciate that she wanted to give the book a more personal tone than a straight analysis, at times it was as if her perceptions were generalizable to all readers, which is not the case. It's a good idea, but just didn't hold up for me.

The Sunday Salon: Remedies

2009-08-08T23:40:00.000-07:00

Remedies by Kate Ledger

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I was lucky enough to win an advanced copy of this book from the First Reads program on GoodReads. This is the debut novel for Kate Ledger, and I hope it won't be her last. This story is reminiscent of Ordinary People in it's focus on a family dealing with a personal tragedy. but it adds a modern spin involving two strong career professionals grappling with this challenge.

The first scene in the book arrives with graphic clarity. It might put off some readers, but in those first few pages we get a clear insight into Simon Bear - Doctor, Husband, Father, Flawed Human. Throughout the novel we see Simon trying to atone for his flaws while his wife Emily uses her PR skills to explain away the problems, and realizes that neither of them have ever dealt with their personal tragedy.

Once through the opening, the book builds steam, and by the middle the plot is flying by. Ledger creates compelling, modern characters. While I might not agree with their choices, it's clear how they arrive at them, and that their actions are consistent with their situation and values. There are several heart-wrenching scenes, especially as Emily comes to terms with her role in their relationship.

If I have a quibble with the novel, it's the end. I fully support the author's decision not to wrap things up with a bow. However, in making this decision, she has left a few too many plot lines open. Resolving a few items would make the decision to leave the larger points open much more meaningful. As it is, the book is great for 90%, but you could stop at any time since there won't be a resolution.

Highly recommended for those who enjoy strong characters, and are looking for a good character-driven story.

The Sunday Salon: In This Mountain

2009-08-01T22:58:00.000-07:00

In This Mountain by Jan Karon

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Whenever my life gets too busy, I'm drawn to simple books. Not simple in terms of writing - bodice rippers are for cold winter nights - but simple in terms of plot. This summer, Mitford has been a great source of comfort.

In this installment, Father Tim is dealing with life after retirment, and finding it not exactly to his liking. While some of the conflict in this novel is a little too black-and-white to my liking, I really appreciated seeing how several characters were approaching faith. and wrestling with their views. This novel has several different points of view, which helps shed light on the story.

I've seen someone compare the Mitford stories to The Waltons television series. I agree that they are similar in tone and approach. But again, when life gets out of control, it's nice to retreat to a small town with beloved characters, and see how they deal with the ongoing complexities and challenges of living a life of faith.

Cross-posted from Goodreads

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

2009-07-02T16:04:00.001-07:00

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Family roots - Free family tree

The Sunday Salon: About Art

2009-06-08T16:00:00.000-07:00

about art by Stan Berning

My review

I was drawn to this book when I saw it on Goodreads' First Reads offering. The idea of an artist facing change, and his quest to learn more about himself and his situation was compelling.

Part travelogue, part existential shout, part mediation on art, this book is hard to catgorize. There were moments of brilliance, and moments over hyperbolity. There is a lot of truth in the memoir, but I sense it's a very personal truth, some of which is hard to convey to those who have not lived through this sort of transformation.

I finished the book 2 weeks ago, but held up writing the review, because I wanted to see what stayed with me. My summary is along the lines of "artist in crisis goes on a roadtrip to regain inspiration, and a sense of purpose." However, this book has more to offer than that.

Especially for someone who is an artist, there are several moments where you will self-identify with the author. When talking about his art, you feel the sense of his power and authenticity:

Art, at its least mirrors the internal dialog of one's life, but it will also inspire, direct, and inform one's purpose....At times, after long periods of work, I have looked inward and sensed an actual reshaping of the space within my chest where I imagine my spirit to reside.

This isn't a book for everyone. But if you are on a quest, searching for something more than yourself, or just feeling introspective and looking for someone else's perspective, this book might fit. It's a quiet book, and sometimes that what you need to align to a new purpose.

Cross-posted from Goodreads. View all my reviews.

The Best Part of Waking Up...

2009-04-14T20:49:00.000-07:00

I’ve got a pretty decent list of skills. I went to a great undergraduate school and have an MBA to boot. Show my resume to most people, and they’ll assume that I’m a capable person, with the continuous employment, and the team management and the progressive titles and all. And yet, there is one critical skill that has eluded me for the last 15 years. I can’t make coffee.

I don’t mean that I don’t know how to make coffee. On the surface, it’s a pretty simple process. Ground beans plus water plus heat equals coffee. That’s not hard. I’m fairly certain that my 12 year-old could handle this. In fact, I can remember being a kid and spooning Sanka into the straining tin that my Gramma used to make individual cups of coffee. But even as I remember that, the memory continues to the explosion of grounds when Gramma added water to the top part of the strainer, and the exasperated sigh she gave as she picked up now-messy cup, and handed me the dishrag to clean the table. So maybe this problem has gone on for more than 15 years.

At first I thought my coffee problem was because I was trying to make coffee first thing in the morning. I mean, at 6am, I can barely remember my name. How can I be expected to remember how many spoonfuls of beans I need? But whether it’s 6am or 8pm, I still somehow can’t remember the beans to water ratio. (3 spoons to a cup? 4? Maybe I’ll just dump it in and see how it turns out.)
I also used to blame my coffee problem on the equipment. Who could be expected to remember that you need both the cone part of the machine AND a filter? Shouldn’t that be just one piece? And wouldn’t you think that the top of the pot would be an optional piece? Do you really need it to direct the flow of coffee into the pot? Apparently the answer is Yes, as I learned when the coffee dripped all over the counter, and stained the cupboards as it oozed down to the floor.

My long suffering husband has learned not to ask me to make coffee unless he’s looking for a laugh. If he wants coffee, he makes it himself. I think he slightly resents being called the Coffee Fairy – but as far as I’m concerned, making coffee appear in a hot steaming cup with the right strength and flavor is nothing short of magic. So for now I'll depend on Peet’s (which is where the Professional Coffee Fairies live) or my own personal Coffee Fairy to deliver the wonderful elixir. Maybe if I wish hard enough someday the Fairies will tell me their secret to a perfect cup of coffee.

[Thanks to http://www.flickr.com/photos/your_teacher/ for the image.]

Even Crafters Have Limits

2009-03-05T14:22:00.000-08:00

Terribly busy with real life....but I had to duck in and post this. I don't often make sweeping statements, since they come back to bite me. But I'm feeling good about this one: I will NEVER make this. Seriously, I don't think I could bring myself to pick up a needle, knowing this would be the end result.

The "two flower Broaches" (SIC) really put this over the top. So you'll have to order here instead. Thanks to Jezebel for a much needed laugh!

The Sunday Salon: I Love You, Beth Cooper

2009-02-15T09:00:00.000-08:00

I am SO not the target audience for this book! I picked it up at the library, based on a half-remembered memory of the title. I Love You, Beth Cooper is an amusing story, but I think it will reach its desired audience much more easily when the movie starring Hayden Panettiere is released.

Short version of the story: Completely outcast nerdy class valedictorian decides to use his speech to declare his love for the hottest girl in school. Crazy hijinks ensue when her jealous boyfriend decides to defend her, and our hero has the most painful and also best night of his life. It’s a combination Ferris Bueller/RiskyBusiness/American Pie type of story.

The author shows his TV roots (he’s written for both the Simpsons and Beavis and Butthead) with short chapters focused on action. Dialogue is fast, witty, ironic, and sounds “real”. Throughout the book I could picture the scenes, and I’m sure the author could too. It’s easy to see how this would quickly be greenlighted for a teen movie – it probably wasn’t a huge transition to do the screenplay.

While I did think the story owed its roots to several crazy party movies of the 80s, that doesn’t mean the story isn’t fun. There are several inspired scenes, and I kept wondering what more torture our poor hero would have to endure. It helps that each chapter begins with a picture of the boy, which changes based on what’s happened to him in the preceding scene. By the end of the night, he’s a complete disaster. It’s also a good 80’s flashback that there’s a relevant quote from a movie under each picture – they tell the short hand version of the story.

Was it a great book? No. It’s pure jell-o. But it’s a fast, light read, and it’s squarely aimed at the teen boys who love The Simpsons and Beavis and Butthead, and spend gobs of money at the movies. If you aren’t in that demographic, read for enjoyment, or else hold off for the movie, which will probably be huge.

The Sunday Salon: Brought to You by the Letter S

2009-02-08T09:00:00.000-08:00

Anyone who grew up watching Sesame Street feels a sweet ring of familiarity when they hear the opening chords of the theme song. Even if you haven’t watched in years, you can call up favorite sketches, songs, or stories. And while Sesame Street today is not the same as the show you watched at 2 or 6 or 10, it’s still fundamentally recognizable, and comforting.

This week I took the opportunity to read Street Gang, Michael Davis’s history of the most famous street on television. Street Gang is a behind the scenes look at how Sesame Street came to be. Davis traces the backgrounds of the major players involved in the early days, including not only luminaries like Joan Ganz Cooney and Jim Henson, but other equally key players like Joe Raposo, Jon Stone, and Lloyd Morrisette, whose daughter’s attention to TV started the whole process. Of course the Muppets are included, but they are not the primary focus of the book (Jim Henson: The Works tells most of the same Muppets stories in greater depth).

Davis does a great job setting the context for the emergence of Sesame Street. In early chapters he shows how Hoody Doody, and Captain Kangaroo were both training grounds and cautionary tales for the people involved in the show. He also provides details on the research process and funding challenges that nearly stopped the project before it started. While the detail at times gets confusing(Davis skips all over the timeline in the early sections) I enjoyed getting more backstory on the players, and hearing what went on behind the scenes.

The heart of the book is the story of Mr. Hooper’s death. Davis uses this anecdote as a way to show how well the show followed its educational goals. Rather than recasting Mr Hooper after Will Lee died, the Sesame Street team decided to use this as a teaching moment for their audience. So they focused the entire show on how to help preschoolers understand death and dying and learn tools to communicate about it. I remembered the scene where Big Bird learns that Mr Hooper has died, but didn’t realize that every segment of the show had been planned to lead to that moment. Every "commercial" and every scene was focused to deliver the educational goals. Davis shows how the episode came together, and makes a clear case for this being the moment where Sesame Street transcended television to become an educational and cultural touchstone.

Unfortunately the latter segments of the book don’t live up to the promise of the first parts. Davis covers the emergence of Elmo as a defense against the purple beast who-must-not-be-named. He also describes the situation in the 90s when the marketing team took over CTW, with nearly disastrous effect (Interesting fact: Zoe Monster is Orange because she would show up better on Target shelves next to Elmo and Cookie Monster). He even manages to bring in Avenue Q, which he suspects Jim Henson would have loved. But Davis seems to have lost his plot at this point – is he still telling the history of Sesame Street, or is he trying to explain why the show has struggled so much in recent years? It’s a little of both, which may be due to the history being too recent. It’s easier to connect the historical dots when they are further in the past.

In any case, these are minor points. On the whole, Davis has produced a very enjoyable history, with plenty of content for a casual reader, and many “do-you-remember” moments for a Generation X reader. Although after reading this book, I’m thinking we should relabel Generation X to Generation C – Cookie Monster belongs to Our Generation!

The iPod Meme: The Boxer

2009-02-04T13:15:00.000-08:00

I finally caved and got an iPhone over Christmas. Since then I've listened to A LOT more music than before - something about having it all in one really works for me. So when Jill Tagged me for the iPod meme, I decided I'd play along.

The rules are:

1. Put your iTunes or Windows Media Player on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your next answer.

3. You must write that song name down no matter how outrageous it sounds!

4. Tag friends who might enjoy doing the game as well as the person you got the note from.

Some of the answers are eerily aligned, and some were just fun.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Coventry Carol

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Beau’s All Night Radio Loveline

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
(Who Discovered) America

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Have Ye Not Known

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Joy to the World (3 Dog Night version)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Credo from Lord Nelson Mass

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
When Did I Fall in Love

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Ye Shall Have a Song

WHAT IS 2+2?
All I Wanna Do

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Hiphopopotamus vs Rhymenocerous

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Make Me Smile

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Sing!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Boogie Wonderland

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Not a Day Goes By

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Breakfast at Tiffany’s

WHAT DID YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Walk Away

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Cosy in the Pocket

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
One Day More

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
All I Want is You

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
You Wear it Well

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU?
Monday Monday

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Shake it Up

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Gimme the Ball

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Brown Sugar

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
No Smoke without Fire

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Running on Sunshine

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Don’t You Cry

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Strawberry Fields Forever

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
If You Were the Only Boy

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Gramma Got Run Over By a Reindeer

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS NOTE AS?

The Boxer

So, apparently my life is full of drama, I carry a secret passion for a former love, and I'll die in an earthquake. Or, you know, not. I thought this was a fun project -- tag yourself if you want!

BTW -- the image above is from CraftZine...I'm crafty, but in a million years, I wouldn't have thought to knit an iPhone!

The Sunday Salon: The Story of Edgar Sawtelle

2009-01-25T09:30:00.000-08:00

I didn’t get it. 100 pages in, and I had no idea what was going on with this book. What exactly was it about The Story of Edgar Sawtelle that made it such a highly recommended book? It had mystery, that much was clear. Was that why Stephen King gave it high marks? It had an interesting main character in Edgar, who can see and hear, but can’t speak. Is that why Oprah recommended it? The dogs were compelling, and this seemed to be as much their story as Edgar’s. Is it going to teach us something about the human character?

I continued with the book, primarily because it was a Book Club assignment. The writing is outstanding, with moments that just carry you away. Especially the scenes with the dogs. The language captures more than just the story, setting the atmosphere and tone, and washing the whole story with color and nuance. There were moments that explored the paranormal, which were very well done. And in a pivotal moment, the depiction of shock is one of the truest responses I’ve ever read.

But I couldn’t love the book. I liked the allusions to Hamlet, and enjoyed seeing where the plot would lead, but most of the book felt more like work than like reading. I was disappointed that I didn’t enjoy the book more and kept wondering what I was missing. The reviews are so positive that I expected to love it. Instead, I found myself reading but feeling I was wasting time, which is not a response I typically have. It was very easy to be interrupted, or put the book down in favor of some other distraction.

The Book Club meeting certainly helped my appreciation of the book. We were on topic and focused on the details for a good 2 hour discussion. Someone brought a copy of Hamlet, and we spent a lot of time talking about whether the book is an interpretation of Hamlet, or inspired by it. I think this may be the reason I got bogged down in the novel. I started out thinking I was reading a mystery, then caught the Hamlet reference and had to readjust my expectations to be more of a tragedy. Not a major issue in most cases, but when I was already struggling to get into the story, it was a big mental shift.

I’d like to revisit this book when I can read it in a focused timeframe, like on a plane. There’s so much depth here, and such great use of language, that I’d like to give it another go. Maybe now that I’ve got the benefit of a group discussion to start from, I’ll have more success.

Finished at Last!!

2009-01-20T18:24:00.000-08:00

I was probably about 12 when my Gramma started doing counted cross stitch. At that point I was deeply immersed in my mad 4-H skillz, and frankly wasn't too impressed with Gramma's new love. After all, how hard is it to make a bunch of x's in different colors? I didn't really look at counted cross stitch myself until I was out of college. At that point, I wanted to do something special for Claire's wedding, and found a great version of the Apache Marriage Blessing that fit perfectly with her colors and interests. I quickly learned a few key facts about counted cross stitch:

It's a LOT of detailed work.
There are about 15 different variations for any color.
No matter what project you do, you will have to buy at least 10 new skeins of thread to match the color palette.
X's are easy, but the changes in color make the project difficult.
I should never forecast a completion date for a project.

I was reminded of this last point over the summer as I struggled to finish the cross stitch I was making for Joyce. Started in late 2006, I had originally planned this for Christmas 2007, then Birthday 2008, then had to scramble to finish in time for Christmas 2008. It was without question the most complex cross stitch project I've done, as the only areas of consistent color are the sky colors. Everything else was in variations of color, with multiple shades used to give a true garden feeling. The design had great depth, and gorgeous flowers, which was what made me think Joyce would like it. And in the end, it turned out well - which is all I can hope for in any of these projects.

Autumn Mist, by Diane Phalen.
Counted Cross Stitch on 14-ct Aida cloth. Stitched 2006-2008

The Sunday Salon: Waiter Rant

2009-01-18T11:00:00.000-08:00

As usual, I end up following a creme brulee book with another Jello offering. WaiterRant is a popular blog, focused on...wait for it...waiters in restaurants. So guess what the book is all about? I looked forward to the book, especially after it was endorsed by Anthony Bourdain, which may have raised my expectations too high. I loved Kitchen Confidential. It had wit, edge, tone, direction and off the cuff observations that cut to the bone of an issue. Waiter Rant is good, but it's not Kitchen Confidential.

I think my primary issue with the book is that is covers known territory. I've worked at a restaurant, and eat out often enough that I'm familiar with many of the vignettes in the book: the 15-top that shows up 5 minutes before closing; being in the weeds when the seating assignments aren't managed; picky customers arguing for better tables. As a result, the stories felt comfortable, but not out of the ordinary. Part of Kitchen Confidential's success was that it showed the underbelly of the restaurant world, and presented it as a foray into a foreign territory. Waiter Rant doesn't reach as far, and as result it doesn't come across as well.

Where Waiter Rant differentiates from Kitchen Confidential is in the author's discussions of his own motivations and trials and their impact on his work as a waiter. How does a 37-year-old become a waiter? Does it mean a lack of direction, or is this a stopping place before moving on to better things? How does his background in psychiatry make him a better waiter? Sharing his interests, his college experiences in preparing for the priesthood, his time working in psychiatry, humanizes the waiter, and shows us his unique perspective. At times the connection was (I suspect) unintentionally amusing, and I think bringing even more of those elements into the story would have helped differentiate the novel.

My other quibble with the book is that it becomes self-referential. Comments throughout the later chapters about how he's writing a blog post, or hoping to get a book deal, or owes drafts to his editor interrupt the focus of the narrative, because in most cases they are incidental to the main storyline. It would have been better to focus on the Waiter Rant narrative, and leave the transition from waiter to writer for a dedicated chapter, or a different book.

While reading the book, I wondered what would happen next for the author. If the Waiter becomes a Writer, would WaiterRant continue? It looks as thought it has (and he has another book coming) but the focus has clearly shifted away from in the trenches waiter stories. It's a natural evolution since Waiter is no longer a Waiter, but it's disappointing. I suspect the next book will be on another topic. The author is good, and I may pick up the next book, but I will do so with lower expectations. All in all, a good Sunday afternoon read.

The Sunday Salon: Those Who Save Us

2009-01-11T09:00:00.000-08:00

Sometimes a book comes along that is at once disturbing and compelling. Those Who Save Us is one of those books. I devoured it; could not put it down. At the same time, I was so sickened by parts that I could hardly continue reading. My husband came in at one point and asked me what was wrong - I looked like I was in intense pain. And I was.

The primary plot line in this book is the story of Anna. A young German woman at the outbreak of WWII, she harbors a Jewish doctor, and falls in love. Her story of survival after his arrest gives the novel its shape providing both highlights and some deeply painful scenes. Anna survives the War (not a spoiler - we meet her on page 1) but at great personal cost. The secondary storyline is that of Trudy, Anna's daughter. Now a 50-something professor of German Studies in Minnesota, Trudy is emotionally scarred and haunted by visions of St. Nicholas, or maybe they're memories she can't quite grasp. She embarks on a research project to record the stories of Germans who lived through WWII as a parallel to a colleague's Holocaust project. But Trudy knows her mother won't tell her story for the project. Anna hardly talks, and definitely won't speak about her experiences during the War.

Author Jenna Blum knows her topic. She served on Stephen Spielberg's Survivors of the Shoah Foundation for four years before writing this book. According to her blog, her work helped inform the atmosphere and tone of the novel, but the characters and experiences are fiction. Many of those experiences are deeply troubling to read, as you might expect given the novel is set in Weimar, near Buchenwald, during most of the War. Blum doesn't shy away from the more gruesome details, but neither does she revel in them. Rather they are part of the reality of her characters' lives and interesting for the ways in which they impact the characters' actions.

At its heart, this novel is about choices. What would you do if your country were at war? What if you were not part of the military, or on the 'wrong' side? How would you survive? What decisions would you make to protect your loved ones? Would you turn on a friend? Would you sacrifice yourself? How far would you go, and at what cost? What happens, after the crisis is over, and you have survived? How do you live with those choices 10, 20, 50 years later?

Reading this novel reminded me of a high school visit from a Holocaust survivor. She sat with us for most of the day answering all sorts of questions. I remember her saying she didn't do anything special - she just lived. In her case, she lived to be seen as a survivor. How were the German civilians seen once they had lived through the War? Were they survivors, or oppressors?

Those Who Save Us is an important book. It's not an easy book, and for many it will not be enjoyable. But as we lose the Greatest Generation, and rely on our history to tell us the story of the War, we need books like these that help explain that the War wasn't only military battles and concentration camps. There were many ordinary people on both sides of the conflict who did what they could to survive. When the War was over, much like the soldiers who returned home, they went on with their lives. And very likely questioned their decisions and actions as much as those who fought. Highly recommended.

Christmas Feast - the Results

2009-01-02T12:09:00.000-08:00

Our new tradition was quite successful. Some highlights:

Paella

Tamales (Color coded for chile vs cheese)

Green Beans

The Cook!

The vote was unanimous - this tradition is worth continuing!

A New Tradition

2008-12-24T21:00:00.000-08:00

Staying home for the holidays can be challenging. On one hand, it's a heckuva lot easier than schlepping 4 people plus presents, baggage and ski equipment to Colorado for 2 weeks. On the other hand, there are new challenges - where do we go for Christmas Eve services? How will I survive without the post-Christmas sale at Summit Canyon? And, most importantly, what will we eat?

Christmas in Colorado can be predictable, but the food is always good:
Arrival Day - Dinner at the Italian Underground
Apres-ski, and Apres-pool - Dinner at the Brew Pub
Christmas Eve - Party at Manette's
Christmas Day - Dinner at either Rivers or the Redstone Inn
And in between, a kabillion Christmas cookies, and Mom's burritos, lasagna, pork, or whatever else she made to feed a crowd.

Christmas in Los Gatos this year, and I'm at a loss. I had no interest in doing Thanksgiving v2.0, and going out options didn't really appeal. Fortunately, necessity is the mother of invention, and we came up with some new traditions.

Christmas Eve - Courtesy of Sebastian
It's fondue night!
We borrowed some recipes from the lovely Laura, and had quite a feast before heading out for services. Of course, the kids were much more interested in the chocolate fondue than the meats or cheeses, but it was a fun way to approach dinner. Since it was novel, it distracted the kids from counting down to Santa (only 4 hours and 37 minutes to go!). It also filled them up enough to keep them relaxed at Christmas eve services.

Christmas Day - This one was Ramon's brilliant idea. Every year we end up talking about our travels, and telling stories. Why not structure dinner around the places we visited this year? Not only is this a creative option, it reminded me of an excellent Mad Men episode. So, here's this year's Christmas Dinner menu:
Appetizers (Morocco) - Humus, harissa and veggies
Salad (Spain) - Caesar salad as served in Barcelona
1st course (Mexico) - Tamales with mole sauce
2nd course (Spain) - Paella
Side dish (China) - Szechuan long beans
Side dish (Germany) - Warm potato salad
Dessert (US) - Gramma's chocolate cake
Dessert (US/Germany) - Gramma Wilson's christmas cookies
Wines: Spanish Rioja, German Riesling

Tea: Green

I was tempted to serve Moroccan style, but got shot down.

Happy Holidays, and Good Eating to all.

[Very Traditional image of Redstone Inn - my favorite hotel in Colorado - by Bill Dayton]

A Moment of Maturity

2008-12-19T12:00:00.000-08:00

The man-child is 12 and a half, which means that we never quite know what to expect when we go into his room: rage? happiness? both? He'll hug me when I give him his lunch money, and then go ballistic when I suggest that he walk the dog. At this point, confronting on any topic has to be done on a very careful basis.

Last night I wandered downstairs at around 6 to find him in his room, rummaging through the drawer under his bed. This drawer is the result of a very good sales person who convinced me that it could be toy storage when he was little, and a trundle bed for sleepovers as he got bigger. Never mind that when loaded with toys, it was impossible for a normal human being to pull the dratted thing open. And everyone knows that when you have a friend over, you want to sleep at the same level - not one lower than the other. So the drawer has evolved to a wasteland of forgotten toys, old homework, and probably a few new species growing from the detritus of 12 years of stuff.

Anyway, it was 6, and he looked like he was up to not-much, when there was still homework to do, and the dog to be walked and the dishwasher emptied, etc., etc. I could think of about 900 things that he could be doing right then instead of fishing through the drawer for something fun to do. However, I'm single parenting this week, and really wasn't up to a blow up, so I decided to not call him back to his responsibilities just yet. 30 minutes later he was back upstairs and working on his homework. I asked him what he'd been up to downstairs.

"Oh, I was looking for last year's math notebook. I remembered a different way to resolve fractions, and wanted to check it out. Tomorrow, I'm going to take the notes in to my teacher and see if we can talk about using this other method because it makes more sense to me. I think if I explain it, she'll agree and then I won't have to worry so much about the math homework. Why?"

And suddenly, the adult this kid is going to be was standing right in front of me. It was a Mom Moment. One to hang on to, and remember.

[Img: JimmiehomeschoolMom]

Merry and Bright

2008-12-09T21:51:00.000-08:00

The best part of Christmas, even better than the kids anticipation, is the family moments. This is the one holiday of the year where everyone in our family has strong opinions about tradition. We all have favorite moments in the holiday season, and as we repeat them every year, they have significance, regardless of if the loved one who started the tradition is still with us, or if the tradition is serious, or seriously funny.

Some of our family moments from decking the halls last weekend:

- The collective "ooh" as we opened the first box, and the distinctive Christmas smell wafted out of the tissue paper.

- Untangling the lights with able assistance from the dog. Wondering, as we do every year, why we don't have an organized process for storing lights so we can avoid this giant snarl.

- Explaining for the twentieth time why we have duplicate creches. "I bought it on eBay...No, you're right, there should only be 1 Jesus, and really 1 holy family...Yes, I agree that we don't need 7 wise men, when three will do fine...Oh, you think we should keep all 7, since more would have come later? OK, fine...And you think we need a "backup Jesus" just in case? Well, ok, I guess, but I really think it's time for a bit more religious education."

- Starting John Denver and the Muppets as we start decorating the tree. (I miss you Dad, so much it nearly kills me to listen to this...)

- "Can we sing 'Good King Applesauce' with the Angel chimes?"

- Finding treasures in the ornament box, and telling the stories of where they all came from. This process could fill a novel on its own, telling the history of a family, one Christmas at a time.

- Scrambling downstairs to find the missing "extras" box. Which of course isn't labelled. And has a mishmash of things including: the timers for outside lights, the extra ornament holders, 3 candles that were left out on accident last year, and various other things that I can't remember, but are Holding Up the Process and Would You Please Find a Better Way to Label Things Next Year?

- The kids expressing definite opinions on who's stocking goes with which holder, and what color candle is required. This tense negotiation is only slightly less serious than...

- The annual debate over topping the tree with the star or the red thingy. (After the Terrible Compromise of 2005, this debate can only be settled by deferring to Ramon's artistic judgment.)

- "Mom, before I go to bed, can I watch the Christmas tree for a little bit?"

- The sigh of contentment, as we all lie down on the floor to watch the patterns made by the lights. Holding hands, and talking about Christmases past, while dreaming about Christmases yet to come.

And with any luck, this year the tree won't fall down.

[img: wishymom]

Meet Nina!

2008-11-10T10:24:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to upload a picture to Facebook all weekend. Apparently there's something wrong with my ActiveX controls or the simple uploader is a problem. Or something. I'm not the tech one around here - I just push the button and assume that the magic elves inside the computer will make things work. But I digress....

The happy news that I've been trying to share is our new puppy! We've been working with a breeder in Templeton and got to go visit on Saturday to select our new family member. So, please welcome Nina!

Nina is an F1b Labradoodle (aka, Deisgner Mutt) with a Labradoodle Mom and Poodle Dad. So hopefully that means we get all the allergy benefits of the Poodle and the personality benefits of the Labrador.

The kids are over the moon in love with her. Gabriella used up a year's worth of exclamation points emailing Auntie on Saturday night, and Sebastian keeps explaining the her wonderful range of personalities. We're all a little worried about how Riley-the-dog will do on meeting his new friend (he is 11 after all, and used to being the supreme commander of all he can see) but we'll cross that bridge in a few weeks.

In the meantime, we're excited for Nina to come home on Thanksgiving weekend, and looking for any and all suggestions on how best to welcome our new puppy. More stories and many pictures to follow...once I figure out the rest of these tech issues.

Update: 11-17-08 New Picture! We have 2 more weeks to wait for Nina, but Gail has graciously posted a new picture for us:

Her face is filling out, and she looks ready to pounce on the first person to come near her with some cookies!

Update 11-22-08. Another new picture. She's ready for her close-up, and we're ready for her to come home next Friday!

Writing: It's on.

2008-11-03T22:52:00.000-08:00

I wasn't going to do NaNoWriMo this year. The last two years, November has been a time of complete chaos at work and I've felt bad about pushing the writing to one side. So this year, I resisted. Why make a commitment I couldn't pursue? Better to hold off and focus on the writing when I can actually make time.

That was the plan until Sunday night. Then John Cameron English arrived and demanded to know what I had done with Amanda. This was a troubling encounter. First, Amanda and I had a parting of the ways last January. She couldn't seem to set her time frame. She kept veering between Southern California in the present and the East Coast in the 19th century, and frankly, I was getting whiplash trying to keep track of her. I don't particularly want to write a novel involving time travel - excellent writers have already covered that type of story multiple times. But Amanda couldn't seem to tell me where she belonged. So we agreed to take a break from telling her story until either she made a decision on timing or I could come up with a compelling reason to add another time travel story to the universe.

The other reason I was troubled had to do with John Cameron himself. Characters don't usually come to me fully formed. Usually they emerge over the course of a few encounters, giving me peeks into their history, and some guidance on their personality. In many cases I don't have a strong visual image for the character until I've been writing them for a while. John Cameron not only burst on the scene with personality intact, he approached with full force of will. His brown eyes blazed in his unshaven face, he smelled like a brewery and he was completely enraged. (He literally woke me up with his yelling about Amanda.)

So... apparently I'm meant to participate in NaNoWriMo this year, whether I intended to or not. And I may be writing a time travel book, although I'm still resisting it. At minimum, I need to figure out how to get John Cameron and Amanda back in the same space, and understand what happened to separate them in the first place. No guarantees on a complete novel, but hopefully by the end of November, John Cameron will stop yelling, Amanda will decide what time period she belongs in, and I'll get back to normal dreams where giant dancing pandas compete for pizza and tootsie rolls. (What? Doesn't everyone have that dream?)

Another Book Post

2008-10-14T12:26:00.000-07:00

The Sunday Salon has not been top of mind for a few months…I’m trying to institute computer-free Sundays, which makes it hard to update for Sunday Salon. However, I am still reading Booking Through Thursday, and thought this weeks questions led to a good book-related post. So here are my responses. On Tuesday. Not Thursday. At least it’s a T day.

What was the last book you bought?
The Worst Hard Time. With all the talk about the Depression, I thought it would be good to look into some of the history. While looking through Borders, I found this book, which tells stories of the people who survived the Dust Bowl. Unlike Steinbeck’s Joad family though, these are people who stayed in the Plains and made a life in the middle of one of the worst environmental disasters ever.

Name a book you have read MORE than once
My go-to books are the Outlander Series by Diana Gabaldon. I don’t reread the whole series in a row, but I find that when I need a “comfort book” I pick up one of these. There’s enough variety in the content that I can find something to take my mind off whatever’s bothering me.

Has a book ever fundamentally changed the way you see life? If yes, what was it?
I’m not sure that any one book fundamentally changed my life, but I do think the way I see life is influenced by my reading, and especially the reading I did in college. Much as I complained about CIV (formerly Western Civ), that curriculum forced me to consider thoughts and ideals that I wouldn’t have otherwise. Similarly the American Literature core (Great works from Cotton Mather to Richard Rodriguez) gave me a fundamental understanding of how the stories we tell, and continue to teach inform our definition of what it is to be American. Although I still argue that assigning college freshman 15 books for a 12 week quarter is cruel and unusual punishment.

How do you choose a book? eg. by cover design and summary, recommendations or reviews
All of the above. If I’m browsing, I tend to start with the cover and summary, then look through some pages in the middle to see what the writing is like. If I’m looking for something specific I’ll go with reviews or recommendations. Truthfully, the larger problem is not finding something good, it's limiting myself to the best 2-3 choices instead of buying bushels of books at a time.

Do you prefer Fiction or Non-Fiction?
Fiction. When I read it’s for pleasure, and mostly for escape. Non-fiction occasionally fills that need, but not often. My non-fiction reading for work is almost always limited plane flights (where I have nothing better to do), or cases where I am looking to build a specific competency, and therefore quite motivated.

What’s more important in a novel - beautiful writing or a gripping plot?
This is a trick question, right? The correct answer is compelling characters.

If the writing is outstanding, but the characters aren’t interesting, I’ll finish the book but it becomes a nightstand book – 15 minutes per night until finished. On the other hand, if it’s a gripping plot but badly written, I’ll skim through to find out What Happened – but minimize the time investment. In both cases, I find myself paying much more attention to the structure of the book, and the way the writing attracts/detracts from the story.

If I’ve bought into the characters though, I tend to set aside any reservations around writing or plot. I often go back and reread sections after finishing a book to see how the plot turned, or how the writing reinforced the characterization. A recent book that demanded a second read for analysis was Plainsong.

Most loved/memorable character (character/book)
Francis Crawford of Lymond is most memorable, and it’s his story that I’d point to as some of the best written fiction ever. Most loved is harder to identify, mainly because there are so many candidates. But thinking of the books I most wanted to introduce to my kids, the answers would have to be Laura Ingalls and Anne Shirley.

Which book or books can be found on your nightstand at the moment?

A Cole Porter biography which is close to being abandoned. It’s interesting content, but the writing isn’t working for me.

Daughter of York, Anne Easter Smith. Decent historical fiction. Light on story so far, but it's good to read someone elses take on the Yorks.

Rose In Bloom, Louisa May Alcott. Revisiting a childhood favorite.

The Worst Hard Time, Just purchased - see above.

What was the last book you’ve read, and when was it?
I finished a reread of Voyager (See comfort books, above) on Sunday. The last new-to-me book that I finished was Loving Frank for last month’s Book Club. Loved it.

Have you ever given up on a book half way in?
Unfortunately, yes. My general rule is that I give a book 100 pages. If I hit that mark and am not engaged, I likely will abandon the book. This isn’t a hard and fast rule, but with most books I read, 100 pages is at least 20% if not 30% of the text. If I haven’t found something to make it worth continuing at that point, I’m not likely to do so in the remainder of the novel.

This is a sad question to end on, so I’m going to add another one: Are there any abandoned books that you’ve revisited later?
The answer is, of course, yes. There were many books that I tried in high school that I just wasn’t ready for. Books like The Great Gatsby, Rebecca, Faulkner, and in a fit of madness, War and Peace. Relooking at some of these books in college or after, I was better prepared to read them, and glad I tried again.

[img credit: Blu_Blue]

DonorsChoose Challenge - Help the kids!

2008-10-02T09:45:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of reasons to be worked up right now: the economic meltdown, the political campaigns, war, healthcare, the never-ending landscaping project. But there's an event going on right now that helps restore the balance, and gets me right in that squishy place reserved for kids and puppies: The Bloggers Challenge.

For those who haven't heard, this is a challenge among bloggers to raise money for kids in public schools across the country. DonorsChoose is the organization coordinating fundraising, and all the donations go directly to teacher-selected projects. The teachers ask for all kinds of things, from a rug for circle time, to books for their class, to art supplies, to recess equipment. And the best part of the process is that you don't have to fund the whole project. You can donate 5 dollars, or 10. Or 20. Any small amount helps, and you know that your funds are going to help kids with a specific need.

In the past 3 years I've contributed to help deliver the Weekly Reader to kids in Oakland, sent copies of Little House on the Prairie to a class in South Carolina, and soccer equipment to Louisiana. I may not be able to fully fund a project, but it feels good to do something - especially when I know it's going to have an immediate impact on a child.

So please check out DonorsChoose. Contribute through a blogger (I'm helping Tomato Nation) or just find a worthy request and help fulfill it. It may be hard to think about donations right now, but small amounts add up to big change. And sometimes when you are faced with large problems, working on the little things is the best way you can help.

Music Lessons

2008-09-29T17:41:00.000-07:00

7 things learned after handing over my iPod to the 8-year-old.

-- My playlist titles mean nothing.
-- I need a kids-only playlist. (Not just kids music, but "Mom-approved" music).
-- Christmas music is always appropriate, even in October.
-- Dance music is tiring. You can only do so many extensions and axles during one soccer game.
-- You can't stop the beat. Seriously, you can't.
-- Ear buds not only block all sounds around you, they make you an instant rock star.
-- Billy Joel wrote classic, timeless songs, that should be played over-and-over-and-over, until you can match every harmony.

Sunday Night Haiku

2008-09-14T21:29:00.000-07:00

Procrastination.
House all clean. Laundry complete.
Speech still not written.

more animals

Duh-nuh-nuh-nuh, Duh-nuh-nuh, Clap, Clap.

2008-09-07T22:26:00.000-07:00

Today’s walk into nostalgia is brought to you by Brandon, Brenda, Kelly and Dylan.

I can tell you exactly when I started watching 90210. It was summer, and I was working 2 jobs in campus – 1 to earn money, and 1 to get free housing in a dorm. It was a great situation for a college junior, except for one small issue: there was no kitchen. The dorm’s food service was closed for the summer, and the idea of microwaving dinner every night didn’t appeal.

Enter Erik and Holly, who kindly offered to share their kitchen in grad student housing. That summer we cooked together at least twice a week, often more. At the same time, Fox decided to establish 90210 by running new episodes all summer long. So there we were weekly, cooking dinner with friends, and slowly getting sucked into the show by watching the kids spend summer at the beach. (Well, ok, I got sucked in….Erik and Holly were more into I, Claudius, starring Jean-Luc Picard, but I digress.)

90210 started as a show we watched with friends, and when Melrose Place spun off, we happily signed up for that too. Post-graduation, everyone had a standing invitation to our tiny apartment for Melrose Monday. There were no guarantees of food, but you could assume that there would be at least 5 people in the apartment ready to cheer and jeer. And we watched. We groaned when Kelly said “I choose me”. We gasped when Dr. Kimberly Shaw pulled off her wig. New phrases entered our speech like, “Jeremy Jordan, all right.,” “Donna Martin graduates.,” or “Where’s Allison? I miss her.” And we all learned Valuable Lessons about television writing. Like, if you’ve written yourself into a corner, kill off some characters during sweeps, or flirt with the idea of teenagers losing their virginity. Either one will get you ratings.

Given the memories, I looked forward to last week's premiere of 90210 v2.0. My overall response was that the new version has potential, but it needs time to grow and separate from the original. While I appreciated the attempt to honor the “old fans” with the Kelly/Brenda story, and introducing Hannah and Silver, I think the show needs to focus on the students if it really wants to be successful. I do think there’s an audience for 90210 as a teen show, and the producers should capitalize on the kids who have been watching High School Musical and are now ready for a weekly version that’s a little more grown-up. But the “adult” storylines won’t work with this audience. While I may care about the Kelly/Brenda/Dylan triangle, it’s backstory for the new generation of watchers, and better left in rerun heaven. Far better for the adults to be recurring characters, who share wisdom on Very Special Episodes*. GenX has moved out of 90210 – it’s time to let Generation Next have their own time at West Beverly High.

* Even better, can CW give Lucille Bluth and Sue Ellen Ewing their own show? How fabulous would it be to spend an hour a week with those two ladies drinking martinis in the mansion and talking about their “history” with famous actors? Anyone ready to start a petition? I will sign up immediately.

[Photo credit: http://pabloeh.wordpress.com]

Home Economics

2008-08-15T19:31:00.000-07:00

It’s late summer, and hot. By noon the air is heavy with that summer heat that impacts dry climates. It’s not humid, but the air is stickier than usual, and the afternoon breeze doesn’t change the temperature, it just pushes the hot air around.

This kind of heat sends me running for my needles, yarn and thread. I’ve spent most free moments the last 2 weeks crocheting and cross-stitching till I can’t see straight. What is it that inspires this burst of handicrafting? Years and years of 4-H.

As a kid, it was pretty much assumed that around 4th grade, you would join 4-H. Most of the boys took that year to start raising pigs or cows. The girls started with sewing and then moved on to knitting or crochet. I have fond memories of sitting in Mrs. Dougherty’s house on 130 Road working on swatches which would demonstrate that we’d learned the required stitches for the year. Once we were done with those stitches, it was on to the big Project of the Year: the hat, mittens, sweater or other article of clothing we would finish for the County Fair.

Did I mention the Fair? This was the goal we were all working toward. Each of us would put together a display of our needlework and submit it to the fair. In addition, we would model our work in a special fashion show at the Fair. If we did well we’d get a special ribbon, and our sweaters would be shown at the State Fair. (Cue the Rodgers and Hammerstein music!)

Of course the competitor in me was completely captivated by this, and every year I was convinced that I could make State. So I always chose Very Difficult Projects in January, and come late July, I would be spending hours every day in the Extension office (no air conditioning, folding metal chairs, old Coke machine still dispensed bottles) crocheting for all I was worth.

I never made State. But to this day, when the weather changes in August, I go find an incomplete craft project. (Usually something I was excited about in February, but stopped working on in May.) A few weeks of focus, and the result is a completed work. It may not be going to the Fair, but it still feels good to know it’s finished. Now I can start on some Christmas crafts.

Log cabin afghan, chenille yarn, crocheted March-August 2008

Good night, Gramma

2008-07-15T00:49:00.000-07:00

There's a new star in the sky tonight, shining down on all of us. Although it's a sad night, it's also a night full of peace knowing that Gramma is reunited with those she loved who went before. I bet Jane already has the bridge table set up, and Grandpa is getting out the score cards. Good night, Gramma. We love you.

Summer Slump. The Sunday Salon: June 22nd

2008-06-22T22:34:00.000-07:00

I haven’t read a book in 2 weeks. There’s been so much going on that for the first time in memory, I can’t get energized to read. I am still committed to my 5 minutes before bed – that’s required so that I can get the voices in my head to SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP! But even then, it’s been 5 minutes of this, 5 minutes of that, nothing that jumps out of the book-covers and insists that it must be read right now. So, I’m drifting along, waiting for the book that will shake me out of the doldrums, or for next week’s drive to Colorado. 23 hours in the car are usually good enough for at least 1 complete novel, (balancing reading time vs risk of car sickness) so there should be more to report in a few weeks. Until then, here's other book-related entertainment.

New SuperHero: Mind Girl?

2008-06-14T23:29:00.000-07:00

I mentioned last week that I was looking for a new superpower. I'm tired of riffing on the WonderTwins (although Zan and Jayna still rock my world.) BlogThings to the rescue, with a description of my brain, and suggestion for my own personal superpowers. Now I just need to get in shape enough to manage the tights....

Your Superpower Should Be Mind Reading

You are brilliant, insightful, and intuitive.

You understand people better than they would like to be understood.

Highly sensitive, you are good at putting together seemingly irrelevant details.

You figure out what's going on before anyone knows that anything is going on!

Why you would be a good superhero: You don't care what people think, and you'd do whatever needed to be done

Your biggest problem as a superhero: Feeling even more isolated than you do now

What Should Your Superpower Be?

Learning Patience

2008-06-03T22:27:00.000-07:00

Year 1 of landscaping was all about the plan. This wasn't going to be a small landscape change. Since we are on a hill we had to learn all about slopes and easements and erosion. Then the city thoughtfully pointed out that a road curves around out house, and therefore "front yard" rules apply to almost the entire space. (Who knew there were rules about this?) All of these challenges were ON TOP of the standard problems which emerge when two very opinionated people are trying to work together on a major design project. Add in my complete lack of visualisation skills and you have an extremely long design process.

6 weeks ago we finally broke ground. There was much rejoicing as the giant shrubs came out of the front yard. We threw confetti as the azeala forest met the wood chipper. Then the rotting deck came out, releasing the dog's long-lost ball from captivity. Huzzah! For the last 6 weeks we've had workers on site every day clearing brush, digging up stumps, creating flat spaces. Every night when I get home we've walked the yard, seeing what's been done, and watching the design become more real.

And then, Monday, no one came. All day it was ominously quiet in the barren back yard. This morning we got the call: they've done all they can do. We are officially stalled until the city issues it's next round of permits and/or I approve the planting plan (which was sent over at noon). So no changes happening this week, and likely not next week either. I'm taking a deep breath and reminding myself that this is to be expected in this type of project. As you might expect, this doesn't help a lot....but it's a good reminder that patience is a skill, and something to work on. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Roman ruin, (aka future home of the arbor) and meditate. That should help, right?

Short, Sweet and Inspiring.

2008-05-16T17:22:00.001-07:00

Graduation is upon us. Soon we’ll start seeing clips on YouTube of famous people sharing their tips for success. The newly-minted graduates of our nation will dutifully go forth to hitch their wagons to a star, follow their dreams, find their passions, live their best lives, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. 10 years from now, most won’t remember their graduation speaker. That’s not their fault: it’s hard to write an inspirational speech. It’s even harder to write a speech that teaches as it inspires.

Two years ago, the Michigan Today linked to a graduation speech from Louis Lipson. I think it’s an example of great writing, with a strong message to the audience. Not only does it convey the right message, it does it entirely in one-syllable words. What a great way to remind Law School graduates that language has meaning. They don’t need to use their $5.00 words when a 5-cent word will do, and their clients will thank them for being more real in their speech. It’s a reminder I need from time to time: to keep the writing simple, so the thoughts can come through. Google doesn’t find many links to the speech, so I’m posting here to share, and to keep it on my radar.

Remarks, Commencement, Yale Law School, 1979 and 1992
On this day, or soon, you will take leave of this yard, these halls, and us. We wish you well. As your Sage for a Day, coaxed to preach if not to teach, I ought to send you on your way with great store of wise and shrewd saws, short sharp tools that I should put in your hands for you to wield so as to carve a good and full life from the wild lush fields of the law.

But I know that you did not wait to hear this from me, or till now. You made haste to shop for those tools as soon as you came here. In the past three years, or—as it may be—two or one, you have learned some facts and some law; you may have made some friends, young and not so young and not so old and old, learned from them and they from you; in class and in your rooms, with your friends or by your own lone selves, you have picked a few books to bits, page by page, case by case, line by line. Your brains are stocked with rules clear or dim, with thoughts keen or dull, some of them your own; you have heard much of the rights and wrongs, of courts and boards and jails, of new ways to tax the rich and help the poor or plead to a charge or bust the trust or split the stock or cut the pie, and why not to; your ears are cocked to catch (if not to heed) the still small voice of truth, and your eyes are strained to spy out a star to steer by.

As you lead your life in the law, we hope you will do good, grow wise, and thrive. In the years to come, think of us now and then. Come back and see us when you can, and more than once if you can. Let us hear from you word of your feats of skill and works of art.

When you start to close that deal, write that brief, to press that claim, to draw that deed or that bond, to break that will or that bank, pause first and weigh the worth of the end to which you are to bend your strength. You will, it may be, toss that bright hard coin that James wrote of, a coin of which the front face is some man’s right and ease and the back face is his peer’s pain and wrong; and you will help one face to come up. What aim will you have in view? To do Right?—to help Might?—to earn a Fee? No more than that? When you look back on what you will have done, will it have brought you pride, shame, or guilt? Or just plain wealth?

You wish, I dare say, to make no small plans, Good; but there will be times when you will have to keep your plans small, and much will have been gained if you can say with truth that you have made no mean plans. Though you may not save the world, you—as an old case has it—leave the world in so good a plight as you found it.

If you rise to a perch from which you will rule us, judge us, or make laws for us, as you serve the State that in turn serves us, you will need to fit form to ends and ends to form, to match the swift loud clang of the new with the slow soft cling of the old. And as you try to do these things, hard as they will be, you may find that in some ways we have helped to teach you how, or that we trained you to find ways to do things that we did not train you to do; or at least that you learned some of the craft on your own while you were here, though we were here too and stood in your way.

As you grow more and more skilled in what you do, and as you ask why you do what you do, we trust that on the whole we here shall prove to have meant much to you; more as the time goes on, and not least when you have no thought for us at all, for, will you nill you, you will bear—all the rest of your life—the stamp, or brand, or blaze, of the Yale Law School.

[Many thanks to

Nestled in View for the pdf. Photo credit: CarbonNYC]

The Sunday Salon: April 27th

2008-04-26T09:40:00.000-07:00

Now I Know My A-B-C's

Cornflower posted a meme this week that got me thinking. The original suggestion was that you list your favorite author/book combinations A-Z. To me, that's a Sophie's Choice proposition. I can barely prioritize down to 1 author, much less choose a favorite book by that author. I mean, really, if you're choosing between East of Eden and The Grapes of Wrath, you're splitting hairs. But I did think it was worth a look through my library to see if I had all the alphabet covered, and to see if there were any cases where I would have difficulty picking among authors. Here's my result:

A. First letter and I'm already challenged. Winner: Jane Austen, although Jean Auel was a strong potential.

B. Another classic: Charlotte Bronte. Challengers: Marion Zimmer Bradley, Geraldine Brooks

C. Lots of potentials, but I'm giving this one to Nicholas Christopher. A Trip to the Stars is one of my all-time favorite books. Michael Cunningham is a close second.

D. No question here. Dorothy Dunnett. 15 years after meeting Lymond for the first time I'm still in love with these books.

E. Only one E author in my library: Ralph Ellison. I read Invisible Man in high school and it made a huge impact. Enough that I still have my notes from Miss A’s English class.

F. F. Scott Fitzgerald. Gatsby. 'Nuff said.

G. Diana Gabaldon is the obvious answer since I've got a whole shelf dedicated to her. Arthur Golden (Memoirs of a Geisha) is another very good choice.

H. Victor Hugo. I read Les Miserables in high school while on a college admissions tour. Finished less than an hour before we went to see the musical in NYC.

I. hmm... no I's in the library.

J. James Joyce. Second choice: John Jakes. Lots of consonance in the J's.

K. M. M. Kaye reminds me that it's time to reread The Far Pavilions.

L. Surprisingly, this was a hard letter. I was going to cheat with Lattimore's Edition of the Odyssey, when I found Erik Larson wrote Devil in the White City.

M. Many contenders here. Margaret Mitchell wins out over George RR Martin and Juliet Marillier.

N. Only one author in the N's, and she's a good choice: Audrey Niffenegger. (Irene Nemirovsky, author of Suite Francaise, would be better but I haven’t finished it yet. So she’s ineligible.)

O. Best choice: Patrick O'Brian. Slight cheat here, as reading his books puts me to sleep. But they are outstanding on audio books.

P. Sharon Kay Penman takes this letter. Devil's Brood is set for this October...after a 6 year wait, it better be outstanding!

Q. Anna Quindlen. Loved her columns, and love her books too.

R. The obvious choice is JK Rowling. But if I had to pick just one, it would be Jennifer Roberson. (The historicals, not the fantasy books.)

S. Steinbeck. There are a lot of S’s, but who can compare?

T. Mark Twain. A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court is one of my favorites. And the Bugs Bunny version is hysterical.

U. I didn’t think I had one, then found The Midwife’s tale, by Laura Ulrich. A holdover from one of my favorite American Studies classes,.

V. Voitaire. Candide. I wonder how many other people pick this – there just aren’t that many V authors.

W. Edith Wharton. But I thought seriously about TH White.

X. Nothing on the shelves.

Y. Same as X.

Z. Carlos Ruis Zafon ends the alphabet with Shadow of the Wind.

So curiosity is satisfied, and as usual, results in a few books being added to the TBR pile. I think I’ll hold off on rereads for a little while though – still too many on the first pass list. Thanks to Stuck In a Book for the original idea. There’s no tagging on this meme, so consider yourself invited to participate, if the spirit moves.

[photo credit: Leo Reynolds]

The Sunday Salon: April 20th

2008-04-20T17:07:00.000-07:00

In which we find our heroine struggling with a huge TBR pile, and nothing to talk about. Ha! As if that last were ever true!

Actually, thinking about this week's reading led me to a question: How many books do you read at one time?

I have friends who can move easily back and forth between various genres, and might have 3-4 books going at the same time. Much as I'd like to be able to do that, my brain just can't keep all those characters and concepts straight. I'm much better at putting focus on one book at a time, so I can really get into the writing. This works well with fiction, but it makes for an uphill battle when reading non fiction. (Maybe this explains why my home library is overflowing with novels, and the non-biography, non-travel non-fiction takes up less than a full shelf?)

The challenge with having a single-focus approach to reading is that it can make for awkward transitions between books. How to go from The Zookeepers Wife to Suite Francaise within a week? Shouldn't there be some sort of transition period between the books? Or is there enough difference between the books to allow one to be started right after another? I tend to approach some books in terms of Book Bundles (either same author, same theme, same genre) as a way to facilitate the transition. This week, though, I needed a more deliberate transition. So I pulled together a Book Bundle of 3 books by Shanna Swendson: a re-read of Enchanted, Inc. followed by the 2 others in the series: Once Upon Stilettos and Damsel Under Stress. (Short review of all 3: Pure Jell-O. They are a cross between fantasy and chick-lit, with the main character starting in a work setting pulled straight from The Devil Wears Prada and ending in an office that would be perfectly at home in Diagon Alley. The books have an engaging, breezy style, are fast reads, and are the kinds of book I'd pick up if home on a sick day and looking for a comfort book.) Once I had read this Book Bundle, I felt that I had exercised my need for a brain break and was ready to tackle something serious again. I don't know that I could have gone directly from Zookeepers Wife to Suite Francaise without this sort of light fare in between.

So, next week's plan is to finish and review Suite Francaise. (VDM bookclub meets Thursday to discuss, and East Bay Book Club has the same book in 2 weeks). I've also got a Book Bundle on product names and the naming process ready to read. Also, time permitting, I'll be starting on some of the business books I picked up at a conference last week. They are a definite switch from my typical reading, and I'm resolved to go at it without Mark's cliff notes - now there's a reading challenge!

[photo credit: pteittinen]

The Sunday Salon: April 13th

2008-04-12T21:16:00.000-07:00

Book Review: The Zookeeper’s Wife.

I wanted to like this book. In fact, I wanted to love it. I heard Diane Ackerman on Radio Times, and I was captivated by the story. Really, who wouldn’t be interested in reading about a couple who risked everything to save people during WWII? It’s Schindler’s List, or Anne Frank, or Giselle, Save the Children, a story set in the worst of all times which can inspire hope.

Unfortunately, my expectations weren’t met. Ackerman doesn’t seem to know where to take the story. Should she focus on the story of the zoo? Or the trials and successes of Antonina (the wife in question)? Or should she tell more about the Polish experience during WWII? In trying to balance between her topics, Ackerman ends with a book that is interesting, but doesn’t quite hang together.

That’s not to say that the book isn’t interesting. Jan and Antonina Zabinski were heroes. They turned their house and the zoo into a shelter for hundreds of Jews escaping the Ghetto, with some “Guests” passing through overnight, and others staying for months. That they managed to do this, with German soldiers frequently visiting, and sometimes inspecting the grounds, is a miracle. Several of the examples of Antonina improvising solutions when confronted by German soldiers are heart-in-your-mouth dramas, including a particularly harrowing encounter with SS soldiers after her second child was born. But this isn’t only the Antonina’s story. Ackerman gives equal weight to the story of her husband Jan, and his exploits as a member of the Polish Underground, including his eventual capture during the Warsaw Uprising.

Ackerman has clearly done her research. She includes great detail on the Ghetto and daily life in Warsaw during the war. I haven’t read a lot about the Polish occupation or the Warsaw Uprising, so I found the content very educational. However at times the content intrudes into the text, and seems to be there more to prove Research Was Done than to tell Antonina’s story. She wasn’t going into the Ghetto often, if at all. Sections about Jews learning to pass as Christians, or the type of Hasidism practiced in Warsaw, or the girl couriers carrying messages during the Uprising are interesting digressions but don’t advance the narrative. The best they can do is underscore the terrible conditions that led people to risk escaping the Ghetto.

The story finds its true footing when Ackerman focuses on the animals: Antonina’s true specialty. Descriptions of the family pets: a badger, a fox, a piglet, lynxes, a muskrat and various other foundlings show Antonina’s ability to commune with the animals. Additionally, Ackerman discusses the Nazi interest in racial purity extending to animals such as bison, aurochsen and tarpans. When Ackerman turns to the animals, the words become poetic and the entire tone of the book changes. Her closing section, set in the Bialowieza, Poland’s primeval forest, is lyrical in its descriptions:

Their body-fog travels with them, but their scent can remain for hours as invisible clouds above jumbled footprints, and sometimes, on a gravel path or leaf-strewn trail, where no hoofprints tell, one enters a pocket of gamy air and is suddenly surrounded by the essence of wild horse.

These moments, and the amount of research detail provided, make this a good book. If Ackerman had found her focus, or the editor had pushed harder in a few areas, this could have been a great book. As it stands, it’s a worthwhile read for those who are interested in natural history, or in learning more about the Warsaw occupation. The story of the Zookeeper’s Wife is a great example of a family’s heroism during the War – Antonina and Jan deserve to be remembered and honored.

The Sunday Salon: March 30th

2008-03-31T22:50:00.000-07:00

I had some new concerns last night following a conversation with Sebastian. His interest in WWII continues, and has now expanded well beyond planes into battles, strategy, and the rise of the Nazi party. He’s currently reading Life of a Nazi Soldier and Blitzkrieg, a Time-Life WWII book, both of which he found in his school’s libarary. It’s the first of these that started the conversation. Sebastian is very aware that people might be sensitive about WWII, and he doesn’t want to have any misunderstandings about his interests. He has been hiding the book while at school, reasoning that if no one sees him reading the book, they can’t know that he’s interested in the topic, or mis-interpet his interest as a sign of a personal belief vs historical interest.

I found the conversation interesting for two reasons. First, I very well remember hiding certain books from my parents. I didn’t want them knowing when I read Are You There God...It’s me Margaret for example, and when I discovered The Thorn Birds (8th grade, in the Jr. high library), I was pretty sure my parents wouldn’t approve of the sexual content. But in both cases, I didn’t feel any need to hide the books from my friends. We all passed the Judy Blume books around, and tried the bust-increasing exercises at slumber parties. After I finished it, I made sure certain friends knew about the Thorn Birds passages, in case they were interested. But I can’t think of encountering any books in school that I would have felt the need to hide from my classmates. I wonder if others have had "secret" books that they wanted to keep hidden?

Secondly, this discussion brought up questions of the school’s role in making books available, and tracking student loaning patterns. My strategy with both kids has always been “if the book is available in the school library, it’s ok for you to check it out”. While some books might tackle topics before I’m ready for the kids to know about them, my experience leads me to believe that kids will select and read according to their interests and maturity level. I think the books wouldn’t be in the library if they didn’t have some level of merit, and I certainly don’t think censorship is the right answer. But it did make me wonder about the criteria for book selection in the library. What about books that deal explicitly with atrocities like concentration camps? Or that could be seen as teaching kids to follow certain beliefs? Further, if Sebastian continued to read up on the Nazi party, would that be seen as historical research, or would the librarian become concerned that he’s thinking of joining them? At what point would the librarian feel that she needs to redirect him, or reach out to the parents about his reading choices?

At this point, I've decided not to make a big deal about this. "Hiding" books is an assertion of independence, and privacy is also a concern at this age. But I think emphasizing the historic nature of his interest, and encouraging discussion about what he's reading will be key while this focus on the War continues. I'd welcome thoughts from any history buffs out there -- and school librarians too!

18 years...and counting

2008-03-25T21:30:00.000-07:00

I was updating my Class Book page tonight, and had an "Omigod I'm old" moment. The request was for a picture of what you looked like "then". So, I thought about it, and decided one of our engagement pictures would be a good choice. It has both of us, it's at Stanford, we actually cleaned up for the event... why not? How about because it reminded me that this "fling" has now lasted 18 years, and these engagement pictures were from March 2004 - 14 years ago. So, for posterity, and too laugh at our youth, here's the image I submitted for the Class Book:

Check the spiral perm...how's that for a 90's flashback?

The Sunday Salon: March 16th

2008-03-17T12:10:00.000-07:00

I have huge respect for storytellers. The ability to tell a story well is a gift. It’s more than dramatic ability. It’s knowing how to engage the audience, how to use voice and gesture to enhance the telling, how to pace the content so that it comes off not as a performance, but as a series of observations, or, well, a story. Long ago, the storytellers were the keepers of the culture, and the history of a people. Now, the skill seems to be mostly relegated to children’s events, which I think is a loss to our community.

All this is by way of introduction to this week’s reading. Sebastian had asked about St. Patrick’s Day, and why it is celebrated. Setting aside my American Studies response about the Potato Famine and subsequent Irish emigration, I decided to find a story for him. I had read Ireland by Frank Delaney last spring, and really enjoyed it. So I started to look through the book for St Patrick’s story, and once again got completely caught up in the writing.

Throughout the novel, the Storyteller lays out the cultural touchstones of Ireland: the creation of the island itself, the Celts, St. Patrick, and on down to the Easter Uprising of 1916. The stories are full of details, and you can see the skill it takes to personalize a story, to make the topic relevant and accessible to a current audience. Take this passage from the story of St. Patrick:

Consider for a moment he challenges Patrick had overcome. Kidnapped at sixteen; made to work as a slave in conditions foreign to him in every sense; a daring escaper whose voyage to freedom must have been full of hardship -- yet he came back to the land that had kidnapped and abused him, to bring it what he believed was the greatest salvation ever.
That was some man. So what if he was a little bad-tempered. So what if he fell asleep too easily after a mug of ale? So what if he could be rude and unfeeling. This was a man among men, devoted to a cause he had taken up and for whom no hardship was too great.

Here in the middle of the story, Patrick is lauded and shown to have feet of clay. He’s a hero, yet he’s bad tempered, and drinks too much. Hmm…you mean saints aren’t always perfect? Could I be a hero too? What a great way to insprire an audience and help them relate to your story.

The storytelling aspect of Ireland is a great way to learn about the country. But what makes the novel memorable is the personal search for identity brought into the narrative. The stories are important because they are helping Ronan learn where he came from, and setting him on the path to who he will become. What a great framework for a tale – the stories aren’t just about your country, or community, they are about your people, and ultimately, about you. As Ronan searches for the Storyteller, and the stories move forward in time, you can sense where the novel will end. And it does, just as you expect, with a happy ending…and a sigh of contentment.

The Sunday Salon: March 2nd

2008-03-03T09:43:00.000-08:00

Awright, I'm admitting a trend: the last 4 Sunday Salon articles have been posted on Monday. This started as an oversight, but has extended into a habit, primarily because I'm trying to get hold at least 1 day/week as a no-computer-work day. (I figure if I'm trying to keep the kids to less than 4 hours of screen time/day, it's hypocritical to not hold to that limit myself on the weekend.) So, I'm declaring Monday=Sunday for purposes of this project, and congratulating myself on my rationalization abilities!

On to this week's reading. I've finished The Thirteenth Tale, and will put up a full book review later this week. As a teaser for that, I wanted to comment on the writing. As I mentioned in earlier posts, I vacillate between looking at books for their plot and enjoying for their writing. In this case the book wins on both points.

The author has done an outstanding job of selecting words to communicate atmosphere and set the tone for the novel. It's clear that this is deliberate, and that she enjoys language for its own sake. Here's a passage from early in the book (p,9):

There is something about words. In expert hands, they take you prisoner. Wind themselves around your limbs like spider silk, and when you are so enthralled you cannot move, they pierce your skin, enter your blood, numb your thoughts. Inside you, they work their magic.

What a great passage to reach out to the reader. It communicates the power of language (or at least how the protagonist perceives language). The metaphor falls in line with the Gothic tone of the book, communicating a sense of imprisonment. It also creates a sense of inevitability. The words will take over, and they will exert their power over you. This last proves to be true through the novel.

While I initially was hooked due to the language, I stayed for the plot. I realized around page 250 that I was speeding through the pages to find out What Happened Next. This is good and bad. The writing is so good, that I wanted to take time and really dig in to it. But the plot was moving quickly enough that I wanted to move forward. As a reader, it's a good dilemma to have. And the author comments on it, again from the protagonist later in the book (p. 289):

Do you know the feeling when you start reading a new book before the membrane of the last one has had time to close behind you? You leave the previous book with ideas and themes -- characters even -- caught in the fibers of your clothes, and when you open the new book, they are still with you.

In the end, I opted to finish the speed read, then go back to a couple sections for analysis and writing appreciation. There are too many themes, archetypes and fantastic sentences to be parsed in a first read. This is one for the bookshelf and for rereading at leisure.

The Sunday Salon: February 24th

2008-02-25T17:20:00.000-08:00

System outage.... please check back later.

4 feet of snow at Kirkwood. Skiing trumped reading, and unreliable wifi meant no blogging. However, during the 8+ hour drive home -- in between holding my breath through the avalanche sites, grinding my teeth while following the snowplow, and wringing my hands while Ramon heroically got us safely through the whiteout -- I was able to fit in the first 100 pages of The Thirteenth Tale. And it's amazing. More next week...carry on.

Dance Attack!

2008-02-19T15:27:00.000-08:00

Although I danced as a kid, we didn't do much competitively. There was an annual trip to Provo for Ballet West, but that was it. So this dance competition world is still a bit uncomfortable. But experience makes for familiarity - and the Rainbow Competition was a piece of cake compared to last year. Gabriella has 3 routines this year: The Joint is Jumpin', I Fell in Love, and Smokin' Hot. Her favorite is Joint is Jumpin', so we were beyond excited when they took first place in their age group. It's so exciting to see her doing something she loves, and getting good positive feedback as well.

I don't have pictures of this performance yet, but while looking for something completely unrelated, I found that someone taped the Repertory Group's performance at an event last April. So, as a reminder of where we started, here's a link to Crocodile Rock!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nHl4YerRLU

The Sunday Salon: February 17th

2008-02-18T09:47:00.000-08:00

Review: The Hummingbird's Daughter, by Luis Alberto Urrea

"We are always looking for rays of light. For lightening bolts or burining bushes. But God is a worker, like us. He made the world - He didn't hire poor Indios to build it for him! God has worker's hands. Just remember - angels carry no harps. Angels carry hammers."

This was not an easy read. I spent the first half of the book feeling lost in the desert, much like the People who serve Don Tomas Urrea. Where was the Hummingbird? Would she reappear? Why were we spending so much time talking about the atmosphere, and the oppression, and all these characters? The quote above is said by Huila, the wise woman who teaches Teresita. It comes at the end of her story about the Mother needing a ladder, which reappears at a critical point later on. I bookmarked this page, as the quote really spoke to me. Coming back to it at the end of the novel, I think it's a good representation of the key message.

Much of the book is focused on the normal daily lives of the People. They eat, love, farm, fight, live and die. Some are better than others, and some more colorful. These sections serve to ground the novel, and explain the environment from which Teresa emerged. It sets up the Mexican revolution, and shows how it emerged, especially to the People - an incident here, another one there, until suddenly you see a connection and that the revolution is underway. (Sidenote: I've heard similar comments about the American revolution. Is this usually the way of change? Or is it just how it is perceived by those who are not at the center, creating the change?)

The focus on the daily lives also explains why Teresa becomes the hope of the People. This is a land where blood has been shed for thousands of years. Where cultures are clashing and the Indian people are being slaughtered. And where religion is seen not as something you celebrate in Chuch (although the patron's family goes regularly) but something you see and feel. It's a culture where weddings are celebrated, but funerals provide better entertainment. In this land, anyone who gives hope is to be revered. Huila, the wise woman is revered for her knowledge of plants and the ways of healing. Teresa who adds her own mysticism to Huila's teachings is deified.

Do I believe Teresa rose from the dead, or could heal people with her touch? I'm not sure. I do believe there is more around us than what we can see, taste and touch. I also know that some people have more healing ability than others, and many can see things that others can't. So it's not a huge stretch for me to think that Teresa had some additional gifts and used them for healing. On the whole, however, I think the comment above is more in line with my philosophy. Was Teresa a saint? Maybe. But rather than thinking about her saintliness, and her role as a Mexican Joan of Arc, I prefer the sections where she is healing an individual, or delivering a child - she's a worker, who is using her gifts to improve the world, one person at a time.

Overall: Recommended. But ensure that you allow yourself a lot of time and space to read and become absorbed. This is not a book to be read in 15 minute sections before bed. This one requires hours at a time to truly engage with the atmosphere and the culture.

'Tis a Gift

2008-02-14T12:00:00.000-08:00

Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm an adrenaline junkie. I've always got too much going on, and am scrambling to get places on time. But in the midst of the chaos that is my life, there are times when suddenly a space opens up. This space isn't an open hour on the calendar, or an unscheduled vacation. It's more like a moment (or time) of clarity. Suddenly, I can poke my head up, and see things in a new light, or really connect in a way I haven't for while. And when that space appears, I've learned to appreciate the gift.

Last night was a time of those spaces. It started while driving home when I finally connected with Mom. There was nothing special about the conversation (sorry, Mom!) but when the talk turned to Gramma and our latest projects to help engage her, and protect her from the encroaching Alzheimers, I could suddenly see. I could see Gramma as she was when I was a kid, and as she is now, and I could draw a connection that I hadn't before. I don't know where that connection will take me - it's more of a strongly perceived sense than something I can articulate. But I recognize it as a gift, and a time to be thankful that she is still with us.

Later last night, when driving home from Dance practice, it happened again. Gabriella was talking about a new girl coming to school next week, and said she was scared. I couldn't think why she would be scared about a new kid at school, and asked. She responded, "I think she would be scared to not have any friends, and that makes me sad, and scared for her. So I think I'll be her friend, so she won't be all alone." And in that moment, I realized again what a precious gift I have in this child. This empathetic, social, and human little girl wants more than anything for the people around her to be happy - even someone she hasn't yet met. I don't know where her empathy comes from, but it's amazing to hear these kinds of thoughts coming from her. What a great moment, and I'm so happy to have experienced it.

And finally, and the end of the night Sebastian and I bonded over an essay. He takes after his mom in the English department: public speaking is fine, and no issues with voicing an opinion, but writing is tougher because the words have more meaning when they show up on paper. Past editing events have been tense as I've challenged him to get away from a favorite phrase, and focus on the structure of the piece. Last night was a much more collaborative session as he articulated his thoughts, but was open to my feedback. He wanted my opinions, and was so interested in the work - we spent longer on this draft than any homework assignment in the last 3 months, and enjoyed it! My favorite line of the night: "when I'm writing this, I'm trying to think about how it would sound if Hilary or Obama were to say it". Another gift - to be able to reconnect with the Middle Schooler when I thought it would be a struggle.

The best part of these gifts is the sense of peace they convey. As a result, this morning while I'm on my 3rd conference call, rescheduling appointments, and trying to figure out exactly how much laundry there is to do, I'm calm and centered. And more than anything, I'm thankful. God's in his heaven and all's right with the world.

The Sunday Salon: February 10th

2008-02-10T22:04:00.001-08:00

This week's book was a surprise. When we cleaned out Dad's house last summer, I was assigned book duty. I sent 90% of the books to Friends of the Library, keeping only some older books that had sentimental value, and a box of books that I hadn't read, but thought looked interesting. This week, while seeking a distraction from the Hummingbird's Daughter (at the halfway point...it's finally interesting!) I went to the bookshelf and picked up one of "Dad's books": The Endless Sky, by Kathryn Davis.

Surprise #1: It's a Romance Novel! Dad was not a romance reader - he tended toward Westerns and Science Fiction. On the surface, the story is "Western" in nature. It's set in the Badlands of North Dakota, there's a subplot involving a half-breed Indian, and there are plenty of scenes involving gunslingers, fires, and roping cattle. But there are enough longing looks, and grade 2 love scenes to put this squarely in the category of romance novel.

Surprise #2: It's based on truth! There actually is a town of Medora, ND. And it really was founded by a French Marquis who named the town for his wife. The town's history dovetails exactly with grounding points of the plot. I suspect that the details of that history were covered in the first book by the author (Title? Amazon is unclear). This book seems to pick up where the other left off and extend into a fictional "what happened next" discussion.

Surprise #3: It's a Banned Book! Truthfully, I fell off my chair at this one. Apparently when these 2 books were published, the town of Medora was celebrating its centennial. The publisher reached out and suggested that they factor the books into the celebration. That suited the town fathers fine until they realized that the books didn't make the Marquis into a saint. He was French, rich, and an explorer (all true) and yet the people of Medora were shocked that the Marquis could have been unfaithful to his wife. So they cancelled the celebration and banned the book from their library, thus ensuring that this little romance novel would automatically become a best seller.

Setting aside the surprises, this is a decent historical romance. It's not a bodice ripper, although Katherine's sex drive is definitely over the top. The characters are nuanced, and motivations are murky which leads to a much more intersting read. The langauge use could be improved -- especially scenery descrptions. We get it: there are cliffs, and they are foreboding. It's the BADLANDS. But on the whole the book is interesting, and the author shows promise. I'm going to add her to the list for future beach reads. And now I'm very curious to see what else was on Dad's bookshelf!

The Sunday Salon: February 3rd

2008-02-03T22:06:00.000-08:00

What makes a good Book Club selection? Is it a well written book? A book that takes a specific point of view? A book that is compelling enough for people to finish? How do you ensure that you will have a good discussion?

Water for Elephants was a fun book to read. But it turned out not to be a good Book Club book. Everyone attending had completed the book - we weren't dancing around the ending, or trying to fill in the story for others. Instead it just seemed that there wasn't much to say. We reviewed the questions presented for discussion, but even then, there didn't seem to be a lot to talk about. Among the things we DID discuss:

The depiction of Jacob as a 90 year old man. It humanizes the story, tells us "what happened", and gives us a frame within which to view the story. On the downside, the sections with older Jacob are almost too much content to be a framework. If you invest more in the alzheimer's storyline, the circus section becomes an interruption.
No one saw a parallel to the biblical story Gruen says she was interpreting. (Of course, we had to find an expert to make sure we actually _knew_ the story.)
We all enjoyed the depictions of life in the circus. Clearly the author had done her homework, and her research adds weight to the story.
Our hero is almost too good. He's the moral compass, the only upstanding person in the entire circus. Is that realistic? Is that why we need to see him as an old man? To know he was fallible at least in his old age?
The ending was a little over the top - but in keeping with the tone of the story. It's a circus!

My take on the book: it's a great holiday read. I didn't read it for the quality of writing; I read it for the storytelling. It's definitely a worthwhile investment of time, but not likely to generate a great of literary conversation. Recommended.

Kids Reading Update

2008-02-03T10:14:00.000-08:00

Great news from the 2nd grader's teacher this Wednesday: She's now reading at the end-of 2nd grade level, which means she can pick any book in the classroom. She celebrated by coming home with Mr Popper's Penguins. Ah...the memories. I can picture exactly which shelf this book was on in my elementary school library. I found it right when I was into 5 Little Peppers, The Happy Hollisters, and the Little House Series. And from there it was on to Osma of Oz, Caddie Woodlawn, and Mary Poppins.

The challenge of raising kids who read has been an ongoing issue for the last 10 years. I want so much for my kids to have the same positive experience of reading, and to use this tool to expand their horizons. But I also know that you can't push a kid to read - they need the discovery experience to really treasure the books. So a lot of my guidance for both kids has been about showing them how much I enjoy reading (no real issue there!) and then making books available for them that could suit their abilities and interests.

Most of my remembered favorites are geared toward girls, so I initially found it challenging to come up with books that would help my son. My husband was always a non-fiction reader and didn't have a lot of suggestions here. Fortunately, Harry Potter came along when my son was in 1st grade and catapulted him straight into Fantasy/Sci Fi. From there we've been able to explore historical fiction (Little House was ok through Farmer Boy, but that was enough), adventure books (Treasure Island, My Side of the Mountain) and lately he's very interested in the 1940s from a non-fiction perspective. Anything to do with planes, 40s music or WWII is a good choice. So I think we're in good shape there - although there are a lot of competing demands for his time, I can usually ensure he'll have a book to read at night.

In the case of my daughter, it's been more of a challenge than I thought to encourage her to read. She is much more social than my son, and doesn't tend to get engaged with a book in the same way. My latest solution is for us to have reading time together - in the same room, or together in bed, but reading separate books. This seems to get her to read for longer periods of time, which is often what she needs to far enough into a new book. But I've noticed her interests changing in the last few months, and I think the door to literature is opening...I can't wait to see her response as she sees the world of books stretched out before her.

The Sunday Salon: January 27th

2008-01-27T21:49:00.000-08:00

Hmmm.....A brief entry this week, to ensure that I continue the weekly pace, although there really isn't much to say. This week's book is The Hummingbird's Daughter. Based on the reviews, I expected to love the novel: it's based on fact; there's a strong female character; and there's a great opportunity to explore cultural differences. But so far, I'm having difficulty engaging. I'm about 100 pages in (out of 520) and while I'm finding the story interesting, I haven't been hooked. I'm disappointed by this, as this weekend was the perfect opportunity for good reading. 2 straight days of chaperoning a dance convention meant I had time on my hands. You can't really watch the girls non-stop, nor can you talk that entire time. And yet, when I was ready for a change, picking up this book wasn't my top priority. I do wonder if there is something specific about my lack of engagement here. Is there something about the location, the time period, the subject matter that is an obstacle for me? I'm going to to look for where I'm connecting and where I'm not as the story continues to see if I can isolate the issue.
Goals for the week: VDM Book Club on Thursday to discuss Water for Elephants. I'll probably review that one Wednesday night. In the meantime, I'll continue with Hummingbird, but may have to set a reading goal (# pages /night) if I want to finish in time for East Bay Book Club next week.

The Sunday Salon: January 20th

2008-01-20T18:10:00.000-08:00

"Crème brûlée can never be Jell-O."

I was reminded of my favorite quote from My Best Friend's Wedding while thinking about this weeks reading. In this corner: the final bits of Here Be Dragons - super yummy crème brûlée. And this corner, we have Phantom, by Terry Goodkind - about the basest level of Jell-O you can find.

Let's start with the good. The last section of Here Be Dragons is a very interesting read from a feminist perspective. Throughout the book, one of the key distinctions made between the Welsh and the English (really Normans) is their treatment of women. Great care is taken to explain that Welsh women can dissolve their marriages for proof of adultery, and that they can even claim a blood debt if their husband is found to have brought a mistress to their marriage bed. Several characters explain these rules to show how the Welsh culture is much more advanced.

However, this forward thinking has its limits, and they are found when Joanna is revealed to have had an affair of her own. While the Welsh may be willing to grant women some rights, the right to take a lover isn't one of them. It puts the line of succession into question (which is tough enough since the Welsh acknowledge illegitimate children) and challenges the husband's manhood as well. This last is a significant issue since Llewellyn is aging, and his sons are well past their majority.

I love the ending of the novel as it shows the conscious choice Llewellyn must make in putting his love of his wife ahead of his pride, and the accepted rules of his culture. At the same time, he has to trust his strength as prince to quell the questions Joanna's infidelity has raised among his people. It's also a bittersweet ending as the epilogue shows that Joanna only lived 3 more years, and Llewellyn outlived her by about a decade. As always, I ended the novel anxious to read on to the next one. That, combined with the way I've been thinking about the book throughout the last 2 weeks, proves that it's definitely a crème brûlée book for me.

BUT, after spending the week taking care of a sick kid, I was under the weather this weekend. When I'm sick, the last thing I want to do is think hard. It's time for a Jell-O book. So I decided to detour from 12 century England into a fantasy world. I've been a fan of Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth series since its debut, although I think something changed after Faith of the Fallen, and he hasn't regained his stride. Still, I was anxious to see how he is setting up the end of Richard and Kahlan's story. So, I opened up Phantom on Friday afternoon.

600+ pages in roughly 60 hours usually means I'm either entranced, or skipping a lot. In this case it was both. I think Goodkind is a good story teller. He's managed to keep a lot of plot lines moving, and I was pleased to see auxiliary characters from previous books coming together in a way that furthered the overall storyline. However, there is so much repetition in the story that the plot at times seems circular. I'm not sure if this is because Goodkind doesn't trust his readers to remember earlier points, or if he's concerned with hammering home his ideology. Either way, there are only so many times you can read that the Order is following a false faith before you start skipping passages. My other quibble is with sentence structure. Obviously a novel can't be purely bullet points. But there are so many long sentences that you get lost on the point. It's as if he's trying establish place, time, background and motivation all in one sentence. On the whole, I think the book could have benefited from a very aggressive editor.

With those arguments, you'd probably think that I hated the book. But again, sometimes you just want Jell-O. If you aren't reading closely, but just going for entertainment, there are enough interesting points and ideas to stay engaged. I'm still concerned with the amount of misogyny, but that has been a problem with the entire series, not specifically this book. I like the ways magic is employed, and the overriding concept that there are multiple ways to read a book, or a clue. Although at times I question the logic of the characters, the idea that different people can read the same passage and take different meanings is a good reminder about looking at all aspects of an idea. I'll likely read the final book in the series, just to see it come to conclusion. But I really hope the it lives up to the early promise of the books.

Plans for next week: Starting The Hummingbird's Daughter for February's East Bay Book Club, and revisiting Water for Elephants for VDM Book Club.

8 Things.

2008-01-19T19:57:00.000-08:00

I was tapped in the latest round of Blog Tag....here's my list.

I'm horribly embarrassed to admit that I can't remember the name of the person who introduced me to HR as a practice. I know he was an important person at Syntex, and he was kind enough to extend an informational interview from 30 minutes to 2 hours when he realized that I was genuinely interested in his work. So Mr Whoever You Are, thank you for putting me on the right path.
I used to teach HR certification classes. These are the courses to help prepare HR professionals for their credential as a PHR or SPHR. I stopped teaching during the PSFT/Oracle integration, but hope to get back to it someday. I think it's important that HR be recognized as a specific profession - not something people fall into.
I'm deathly allergic to pine nuts. As in, get me to the hospital for an adrenalin shot STAT! So, no pesto for me. Not now, not ever.
I grew up in a small town in Colorado. There were 125 people in my graduating class, 100+ of whom had been together in Kindergarten.
I was a long-term member of 4-H while growing up. I learned to sew, knit, crochet, tat, cross-stitch and quilt. I'm still always have a handwork project going on - can't just sit and watch tv.
In college, I taught public speaking. To grad students. In the Engineering and Business schools. And got paid for it. Best. Job. Ever!
I'm a singer. In high school I participated in a number of choir festivals. In college I was part of Counterpoint, an all female a capella group. And for the last 5 years I've performed with the Santa Clara Chorale.
My life revolves around my family. My husband works from home, which is what enables me to do all the crazy work things I do. Our 2 kids (ages 8 and 11) are into soccer, baseball, band and dance. As a result I'm the queen of multi-tasking and working from random places. I did make a resolution last year to stop reading email during baseball games, as my responses rarely make sense, but we'll see what happens when the next season starts.

And #9....(this is what journalists call "burying the headline") I just launched a new blog. So head on over to human-strategies to hear anything and everything I have to say from a work perspective.

The Sunday Salon: January 13th

2008-01-13T21:58:00.000-08:00

Not a lot of reading went on this weekend. Between hosting a slumber party, shuttling kids to baseball tryouts and soccer games and dance class, and getting the husband home, turned around, and out again, I was a little bit busy. I'm currently in the middle of Here Be Dragons and still having issues with the writing as I mentioned last week. However a critical test of a good book for me is whether or not I end up thinking about it beyond while I'm reading. And this book sticks with me. Some examples:

I'm at Borders today, helping the kids pick out new books, and wondering if there are any historical books about Runnymede and it's impact on the Magna Carta...not exactly sure how to find that book, but it would be interesting.
I'm talking to friends who have recently remarried and are dealing with step-children, and find myself thinking about what it would have been like with dynasties on the line.
It's medieval dress-up day this Friday, and I'm debating if the kids should dress more as Normans or Welsh. (And then realized that of course NO ONE in the community would catch the difference.)
I was talking to my husband last week and actually explained the concepts behind hostages as guarantees of safe conduct vs hostage taking in the Middle East. Long-suffering husband kept a straight face, barely.

So, is it a classic work that will stand the test of time? Probably not. But it's a good work of fiction, and based in a decent amount of historical research, which suits me well.
Looking forward to this week, I'll probably finish HBD sometime mid-week. Next up is a dilemma. I need to read The Hummingbird's Daughter for East Bay Book Club by the first week of Feb, but may push that out another week. If so, I'll likely move to the next book in this series. More on that next week.

The Sunday Salon: January 6th

2008-01-06T13:23:00.001-08:00

Ok, so I'm new to the Sunday Salon....bear with me for a brief introduction. Every year I resolve to be a more critical reader, to keep better track of what I'm reading, and most importantly, what I'm getting out of it. At the same time, I also pledge to do more writing. Both of these resolutions inevitably go by the wayside sometime in February when I'm deeply immersed in work, and decide that I'll just go back to reading. And then, sometime in October, when I can't find anything "good" to read, and I'm frustrated beyond belief with work, the cycle starts again. So, it's January 6th and I'm resolved again. I've joined the Sunday Salon, and I'm going to WRITE about what I'm READING....at least until February or so, at which point I hope someone will prod me to post and keep this resolution.

Now that that's out of the way...on to this week's update.

2008 started off well for me, when I found my missing book. I had been reading Ruth Ozeki's My Year of Meats in December, and then lost it during a pre-party clean up. I was disappointed by that, because I'd really been enjoying it, so was quite happy to find it in the stationery drawer this week.

This book worked for me on a number of levels. The documentary producer is being discriminated against by both Americans and her Japanese management, while at the same time she's refusing to show the "typical American" in the films she's making for Japanese TV. She is subverting the expectations of her viewing audience, while at the same time challenging the expectations of her boss, and the culture in which she lives. It was a very interesting approach to showing stereotypes and how they work in multi-ethnic societies. Although the archetypes presented for "My American Wife" were a bit on the nose (lesbians? check. baptists? check. bad girl/stripper? check.) I think they showed a positive message about inclusion, and the ability to accept someone for who they are. Clearly this appeals to the wounded Japanese wife who starts out following a traditional route, but gains the strength to follow her own path -- based on the stories told by the documentary producer. At the same time, this book is an indictment of the American meat industry. I had read Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma last year, so this wasn't new news. But showing the effects of DES on the protagonist, and carrying it forward through her experience making these films should make any reader question the source of their food, and how it gets from hoof to table. The author notes that the "thriller" aspect (as she terms the research on antibiotics in meat) came in of it's own while she was writing. I think it's a logical extension of the story she's trying to tell: how the actions of the past influence the actions of today, and how difficult it can be to change them. Whether they are actions related to people - cultural understandings, biases and expectations - or to the food that sustains them, it takes courage and strength to make a change.

My new book, is a re-read. There's nothing like a howling winter storm to send me to the familiar parts of the bookshelf. I first read Here Be Dragons by Sharon Kay Penman about 20 years ago. It was the first of her books I read, and in some ways I enjoyed the trilogy more than her works on the Wars of the Roses, and definitely more than the medieval mysteries. I haven't read the trilogy for at least 5 years, so it seemed like a good time to restart. I picked up the book yesterday, but have been interrupted by sick kids, laundry, etc for most of the day. Initial impressions on this revisit are that the speech patterns still strike me as inconsistent (if you're going to use "ye olde" speech, do it! Just don't switch back and forth) and the amount of character-provided exposition in the first 50 pages is extensive. I'm not sure why she felt so strongly that the readers needed to know how to pronounce welsh names, or needed so much background on the political structures to be given as a "lesson" from one character to another. On the positive side, I love her characterization of John, and Eleanor of Aquitaine rocks - as always.

No real reading goals for the week - heading back to work means any plans will be up in the air. On the other hand, with Ramon traveling, it's likely I'll get caught up and forget to go to sleep so may end up reading more than normal.

Until next week....

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T12:00:00.000-08:00

Things I love about this point in the holidays:

1. It's done. All the major responsibilities, the family shindigs, the obligatory small-talk are bundled up until next year.

2. But it's not completely done. 6 more days until returning to work means an ocean of unplanned time.

3. Relaxation sets in. The kids have the slightly goaty smell of not having showered recently, and are still in their jammies at 2pm. I'm on my 3rd cup of coffee, but don't have to channel my caffeine-induced capabilities to work activities. Suddenly that to-do list is appealing.

4. The to-do's start to get done. Rebalance the 401k? Why not - I've got time. Clean out the cupboard in the bathroom? Sounds like a dandy idea. Strip wall paper in the bedroom? Ummm... maybe that should wait until I've had another cup of coffee.

5. Intellectual curiosity gets met. Things I've wondered about, but filed under "when I have time" get aired out. Some will lead to great ideas (hey, I should totally set up a new blog about the practice of strategy.) Others will be trivia bits that will feed into the mental soup until I'm ready to do something with them. (Richard Pryor won the Mark Twain prize before Carl Reiner. Hmmm.... )

6. There's no urgency. If the tree doesn't get taken down today, the world won't come to an end. The dry cleaning isn't picked up, but who cares. Action will happen - most likely over the weekend when I realize school/work starts in two days, and it can wait until then.

7. Unplanned moments of bliss. Giggling under the covers with the almost-8 year old. The middle schooler deciding to sit and talk about his new interest in girls (!!). A quiet moment before bed knowing all is right with the world. These things happen during normal times, but they take on heightened meaning in the middle of a vacation.

Cheers to the New Year, and to 6 days of peace and relaxation to start it off right.

Surfacing

2007-03-16T16:14:00.000-07:00

A year of silence. Of being overwhelmed in so many ways. Starting a new job, followed a month later by the loss of my Dad, resulted in no ability to write. Multiple times I've picked up my journal, and closed it without a single thought. Or heard the voices in my head, but felt them fade as I reached for the keyboard. But now it's spring with bright blue skies, buds on the trees, and music filling the silence. Last night Jeannie showed up, and asked me when I was going to tell her story. So it's time to soldier on, carrying the new wrinkles in my soul with me.

Our Creator would never have made such lovely days, and have given us the deep hearts to enjoy them, above and beyond all thought, unless we were meant to be immortal. - Hawthorne

The Best Book List Ever

2006-03-01T18:08:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Rebecca's Pocket for the link.

I'm so over "Best-of Lists", especially when it comes to children's literature. Why do people feel the need to focus on the best? And what does that mean? Would you say Where the Wild Things Are is better than The Very Hungry Caterpillar? How? Against what yardstick?

I think the best thing I can do as a parent guiding a child's reading to get them to choose to read. What they choose is a completely different issue. Who cares if they are reading classics or comic books? If they are reading, that's what matters. Right now my son is obsessed with the Animorphs series. I'm not going to pretend it's Dickens. But it has led to him learning new vocabulary, and we've had some very interesting discussions about how the story structure changes from book to book, and how characters are developed - lessons you can learn from any book.

But what about setting an example? Helping them by giving access to "the best books"? Ok, truth time - sometimes you just want apple pie. If I can take a weekend to get lost in a trashy novel, why can't my kids take time reading something lowbrow? Again, I think they'll learn other lessons, and develop a love of reading, which will carry them into the better works when they are ready for them. So, When recommendations are called for, my best source is Valerie and Walter. They have great ideas, and more importantly, they have reasons for the ideas - not just a top 10 list. And they have a great index to cross-reference to other similar topics or authors.

Back to the original idea for this topic...I think the last response on the link was the best. It's one I'm going to take to heart in thinking about my own reading as well:

10 1/2 Inclinations
There is a secret trail of books meant to inspire and enlighten you. Find that trail.
Read outside your own nation, colour, class, gender.
Read the books your parents hate. Read the books your parents love.
Have one or two authors that are important, that speak to you; and make their works your secret passion.
Read widely, for fun, stimulation, escape.
Don’t read what everyone else is reading. Check them out later, cautiously.
Read what you’re not supposed to read.
Read for your own liberation and mental freedom.
Books are like mirrors. Don’t just read the words. Go into the mirror.That is where the real secrets are. Inside. Behind. That’s where the gods dream, where our realities are born.
10½) Read the world. It is the most mysterious book of all.
© Ben Okri 2006. All rights reserved.

Transitioning

2006-02-14T13:35:00.000-08:00

The door cracked open and she stepped forward slowly, blinking in the unfamiliar sunlight. She stopped and looked back to the dark, confined space that had been her home for the past 4 years. She'd known this change was coming - had been planning it for months - but still it was a shock to find the moment upon her. She took one last look around at the room she was leaving, then took a deep breath and whispered goodbye. As she turned her face to the open sky, she smiled.

I resigned today.

Foreign operations

2005-10-10T18:00:00.000-07:00

Cell phone voicemail: This is your Mother. I'm in Barcelona, and have fallen and broken my hip. I'm flying back to the US, can you please meet me at the airport to drive me to the hospital?

....Wah? First of all, she's only 56 so what is the matter that she would break her hip? Second of all, why is she flying back to the US, do they not have doctors in Spain? And third of all, how the hell is she going to handle a 13 hour flight, followed by a 4 hour drive (because, of course, we have to go to her home hospital, not the nearest one in Denver) with a BROKEN HIP????

So the question is - if you were out of the country and injured yourself, what would you do? Stay there for surgery, or return home? And are there any things that might change your mind?

In my cocktail sample surveys, I've gotten varied responses. Everyone agrees that if it were a life or death matter, they would go to the nearest hospital. Most also agree that if they were in a 3rd world country and it wasn't too serious, they would probably travel. But if you're in Europe, and surgery is required? It seems like the deciding factors would be if you speak the language, how long the recovery time might be, and what risks you might incur traveling home to the US.

Interestingly, an age difference is showing up. People over 40 are mostly saying they would fly home, especially if they didn't speak the language. Most under 40 are saying they'd stay, regardless of the language difference. So is this about risk tolerance? A sign of increasing conservatism with age? Or maybe an acknowledgement that there might more complications with surgery for older patients?

My vote, as expressed strongly over several phone calls with Mom, would have been to stay in Spain and have the procedure done. But I was over-ruled. Mom flies back to the States, compounds the problem by getting pulmonary emboli (hello, altitude!) and winds up with a longer recovery time. The good news is that she was in her hometown for the recovery, and she had her support system around her. But I really was looking forward to helping with her convalescence in Spain! I vote for the next injury to be somewhere in the UK, so we can do the surgery in a known language, and then travel while recovering. Maybe we'll put that on the list of to dos for '06.

Death by Powerpoint...The Offsite

2005-09-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

It had to happen. The team has been in place about 3 months, but since we're globally distributed, we don't know each other. This is a bad thing which must be addressed. Enter the team offsite. 3 days in a conference center with 50 of my new BFFs.

In normal life, I don't mind meetings so much. It's a chance to connect with people on the team, and if I'm driving the agenda, a meeting won't go more than 45 minutes. Of course there are other meetings, the kind that drag on and on and OH MY GOD GET ME OUTTA HERE BECAUSE I'M DYING OF BOREDOM, but these can usually be short circuited, or I can suddenly come up with a customer phone call.

And then there is the offsite. This type of torture is specifically designed to reduce team members to a vegetative state. In 3 days, we're going to go from 8am to 6pm, with about 10 presentations per day - in other words 30-60 minute presentations from morning to night. And of course, there will be Powerpoint. Lots and lots of Powerpoint. There won't be time for insight, or analysis. There won't even be time for discussion because we can't have the next speaker be late. And I probably won't remember more than one presentation.

I truly don't understand why people get so excited about these meetings. Yes, it's good to have everyone in one place. However, if you're going to be spending 3 days being talked to, are you really meeting the rest of the team? Are you getting anywhere with product plans? All you are doing is sending information for your 30 minutes or hour, and then trying to drink from the fire house for the remainder of the time.

Add to this the standard offsite ground rules - no cell phone, no blackberry, no computer - and you have a situation where I'm ready to implode. You mean I have to just sit there and listen?? I'm the one who can't just sit and watch TV - I have to be doing SOMETHING. And you don't want me taking notes? Do you realize that without something to keep the rest of my brain engaged, I will fall asleep and start drooling on the conference table? Is that the image you want me to present to the rest of this team?

My rules for offsites. (At least for those that I can control)
1. No show and tell presentations. If it's worth bringing people together for more than 1/2 day, they need to be focused on discussing issues and getting to action or resolution.
2. Every topic must be meaty enough to require at least 1 hour for discussion.
3. Wherever possible, break the group into smaller groups. People get much more engaged when they are in a group of 6-8 talking about an issue and then reporting back their results, than when they are sitting in a room of 50 trying to have a "discussion".
4. Pontificators will be ejected. Offsites are not the time for people to get on the soapbox. They are the time for a group to discuss issues and make recommendations. Too much dominance by 1 person causes the rest of the group to disengage.
5. Offsites should lead to follow-up action. An Offsite should not be an event unto itself. People should walk away with action items, meetings set to continue discussion, and a timeframe to check up on these actions.
6. Build in time for "real-life". Yes, you want focus on the meeting, but realistically, people can't be incommunicado for 3 days. Instead, build in 1/2 hour breaks in the am/pm. Give people an hour for lunch. This lets people check in back at the office, so that they can focus during the rest of the meeting. It also lets people have some down time to get to know the team.
7. Make it interesting. The best offsites I've ever been to added in something beyond the norm. There was a book discussion, or a facilitated exercise, something memorable that people would think about later, even if they forgot the rest of the content.

I doubt these rules will come into play in the next few days. So, unless I drown in my own drool, my deliverable for the next week will likely be a few pages of really detailed doodles, several new article ideas for this blog, 1-2 to do lists, and maybe 2-3 actual notes stemming from the meeting itself.

On the plus side, another logo t-shirt for team unity. Wahoo!!

A Night at Rakestraw Leads to Deep Thoughts

2005-08-24T22:00:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to hear Michael Cunningham do a reading. My book club had just finished A Home at the End of the World, so this seemed like a great opportunity to get behind the story, and meet the writer who made the book tick. Weeks later, I'm still processing the night - there were some huge eye-openers for me, both as a reader and as a writer.

The biggest surprise of all: I really didn't enjoy the reading. He read from Specimen Days, and while the story seemed compelling, the delivery was off-putting. I felt like I was at a really bad poetry slam. He inserted all sorts of pauses, often in the middle of a sentence, which threw off the rhythm for me. This seemed odd from a writer who claims he was influenced as much by Jimi Hendrix as by Anton Checkov. I expected him to have a very different delivery style, more rhythmic, more musical.

Cunningham said that for him, a book is 50% the narrative, and 50% the language. I think that is extremely clear in his novels. I didn't particularly care for the characters and story line of Home. In fact, if this had been written by other novelists, the weaknesses of the characters would have led me to stop reading. But Cunningham's use language is so strong, that I kept going. I haven't highlighted a book so much since college. It seems like every other page there was a deep thought, or a literary moment that took my breath away. Take for example, this paragraph:

We drove among meadows that were taking on their first green, backed by mountains covered with pine and bare white aspens. It was a verdant, uncomplicated landscape - wide open with no underlayer of menace. Farther north, I suspected, the terrain was rougher, the peaks more jagged, and if you strayed too far from the road you could be swallowed up by the sheer fathomless distance of the land and sky. Here, in the heart of Colorado, we passed only simple manifestations of broad, unterrifying beauty. There were mountains, and fields of cattle. There were silver streams that clattered alongside the highway, studded with chocolate-colored rocks. The landscape touched you with its fertile kindliness, but didn't change you in any way. It never threatened to break your heart.

So strong, so powerful, such imagery...I need a cigarette.

I think this is part of the reason why I didn't enjoy the reading. I needed time to let the images wash over me, to parse the sentences, to think about "fertile kindliness" and how strongly that term resonated. As Cunningham was reading, I got the sense of the story, but didn't have time to linger over the language, which I think is his greatest strength.

Truth-tellers

2005-08-11T19:30:00.000-07:00

Everybody needs a truth-teller. Someone who can hold up a mirror and show you that you aren't fooling anyone with your act. Or who can help you see through the emotion of a situation to the bald facts. Or who can name a thing, and by doing so, make it clearer for everyone else.

I was appointed truth-teller by Mom a few years ago. Every family has its dysfunctions, and Mom wanted to try to break some bad habits. So, I was charged, in a moment of levity, with stopping her if she ever EVER started acting like Gramma. Over the years it's become a family joke, because every time Mom gets frustrated with Gramma, she reminds me about my assignment.

Except last night it wasn't exactly a joke.

Last night, for the first time in 30+ years on this planet, I heard my mother sound just like my Gramma. She was worked up over a situation, and when I wasn't willing to completely echo her emotions and share her thoughts, she shut down. Suddenly she started speaking very quietly. Then she brightened up, and in a falsely cheery voice said "Well, I know you're busy, so I won't keep you". On the other end of the phone, I turned about six shades of purple. Every warning sign in my head went off, as I realized what she was doing, and that I was going to have to do something about it. So, I wouldn't let her get off the phone. I changed the subject, but kept right on talking, giving her the opportunity to lighten up. 10 minutes later, she had calmed down some, but still wasn't acting what I could call normal.

I hung up the phone, and the raging began. Back and forth across the kitchen floor, conducting mental conversations, picked up the phone 2 or 3 times to call her back, but couldn't. Finally I abandoned all hope of doing anything productive and stewed. Thor had finished making dinner and wisely opened a bottle of wine. 3 or 4 glasses later, I was more relaxed, although still entirely pissed, and scared to death.

This episode had caused me to have to confront a situation, that I had never had to do before. Mom and I had our differences while I was a teenager, as you do, but we had mostly grown out of them. Or so I hoped. Looking back, I couldn't think of a time in the last 10 years when I had to seriously confront her. I realized that I was about to really test the transition we claimed we'd made from mother/daughter to friends. And that I had no idea how she was going to respond.

So while the wine was still giving me strength, I sat down at the computer, and wrote one of the most difficult letters I've ever written. In it, I told her exactly what I thought of the conversation we had just had. No pretty terms, no bullshit. As direct and clear as I could possibly make it. And I also reminded her that she had given me permission to do this, so it shouldn't be seen as an attack out of left field. I ended by reinforcing how much I loved her and valued our friendship, but that I was NOT going to let her turn into Gramma. No way, nohow. Not ever. Pushing the send button was a true act of courage. And I spent most of the night worried about whether or not I should recall the message.

When the phone rang at 8am, it was Mom. Unbelieveably, she was calling to apologize for acting like Gramma, and thank me for not letting her out of the call the night before. I heard her out, then in a very small voice, asked if she had read my email. No, she hadn't, why? I was strongly tempted to tell her that it was nothing and she should delete it. Instead, I decided to be brave.

It's ok, I said. Just read it when you've have time to, and know that I'm very very happy that we are friends, and remember that I'll always be your truth-teller.

You're Rightsized?!

2005-07-14T23:00:00.000-07:00

I’m told all the time that I speak in bullet points. And it’s true. I don’t like to spend a lot of time elaborating, or mincing words. It’s not that I don’t care about people’s feelings, and I’m certainly not taciturn. It’s just that when there’s a point to be made, I don’t see why you don’t just make it and move on. I think a lot of my brevity is a reaction to my time working in HR.

When you think about an HR job, lots of nice words and phrases come to mind. Outsourcing. Rightsizing. Downsizing. HR has many different words for a basic statement: you’re fired. Of course, now Trump has made this the cool phrase, but in general, firing someone is one of the most emotionally charged things you can do in the workplace. Firing comes in 3 forms:

The worker isn’t performing. This is the easiest for a manager, and often a relief for the worker. They both know it isn’t working out, and with the right counselling, the break-up is fairly painless.
The worker is performing, but there’s a personality issue. This is hard for the worker, less hard for the manager. Usually, the manager has decided that the situation isn’t going to work out, and is ok with the news. For the employee, this firing often comes as a shock.
The layoff. This is the most difficult for both sides of the relationship. The manager doesn’t want to deliver the news, but has to because they have to put the company needs first. The employee doesn’t understand why they were the one laid off, and there is often an emotional confrontation.

In each of these cases, it’s easier for the manager and the HR person to rely on rote phrases. The phrases are not as charged as saying “fired”. They also are used in the planning process – while meeting to discuss the issues, HR and the manager get comfortable with rightsizing or downsizing, it feels more humane than "mass firing". So when the discussion with the employee happens, the manager uses the language he is familiar with. The problem is that those phrases mean nothing to the person being let go. They haven’t discussed the issue multiple times with HR, agonized over the decision, and made the call to fire. They are hearing the news for the first time, and don't understand the words being chosen.

One of the worst firing situations I’ve ever been in was layoff round one at the dot-com gig. Steve, the manager I was working with, had never laid anyone off before, and the first meeting went something like this:
[Steve] Bob, as you know we’ve had some financial decisions to make lately. Due to our changes in the revenue model and the goal of raising additional financing, we have decided that this is the time to rightsize the company.
[Bob] Oh…?
[Steve] So, since the new business model doesn’t support having multiple revenue streams coming from the support organization, we’ve decided to restructure your group. I will be refocusing on the development organization and they will pick up a number of new assignments. Scarlet will help you with the transition details. Meanwhile, I want to let you know that you have my full support and I’m more than willing to help you with whatever you need as you go through this time of change.
[Bob]…time of change?
[Scarlet] Bob, you are being laid-off.

Then Bob got it. Then Bob lost it, and we spent the next 60 minutes with Steve reiterating that yes, Bob really was being laid off, and no, there was nothing he could do to change the decision, and yes, he was really sorry, and on and on.

Fortunately after this meeting, Steve was open to some feedback. He realized that he had defaulted to manager-speak because he was nervous and didn’t know what to say. As a result, the employee had been confused, and the interview was much more painful than it had to be. I rescheduled the rest of Steve’s layoff interviews and we did some role-playing. Over the next hour, he fired me about a dozen times. He practiced until he felt confortable delivering the news in a concise, compassionate way, and was prepared for the employee’s emotional responses. We structured the interview so he could see it simply:

Deliver the news – get to the point, don’t expand.
Pause, to let it sink in. Let the employee speak next.
Provide more detail, but keep it focused on the employee. Start directing the conversation away from the firing and into the next steps. Think short sentences, and simple concepts.
Refer the employee to HR or other resources for the questions that will come up once the shock wears off.

The next exit interview went something like this:
[Steve] Mary, as you know we’ve had to make some tough decisions lately, and I’m sorry to have to tell you that you have been let go.
[Mary] Why?
[Steve] We had to reduce our headcount by 5%, and I made the decision to eliminate your position.
[Mary] But what about the rest of my team?
[Steve] Right now, I’d rather focus on making sure you have the information you need as you leave Old Company. Scarlet is here to talk about your benefits and last paycheck. Then, she’ll take you to our outplacement counsellors to talk about next steps. If you have additional questions, we’ll have a meeting Thursday to discuss them.
[Scarlet] So let’s talk about the content of your letter.

Asking someone to leave is never easy. It takes you back to elementary school when someone said “You’re not my friend anymore.” After running 6 layoffs over the last few years, I can tell you each one is equally painful. But it’s a part of business, just as hiring is. Learning to do it humanely is an important management skill. The key is to get the bad news over with. The longer you draw it out, and the more you try to use euphemisms or management-speak, the harder it is for both sides. So, say it. Don’t confuse it, or hide the facts. Make your point, let them respond and move on. While you won’t feel better at the time, you will later.

You may ask yourself, "How did I get here?"

2005-07-05T17:00:00.000-07:00

Book Review: Behind the Scenes At the Museum, by Kate Atkinson

This is one of those books where the image you have 6 months after reading the book is not the same you have when you close it. This is not a book full of sunshine. Life is messy. People work hard. They don't always like each other, or themselves. They make mistakes. They die. By rights, this should be a depressing story. However, with the gift of Ruby Lennox as omniscient narrator, the overall memory is one of happiness. Ruby is a survivor. She's precocious, full of imagination, and has an amazing ability to cope when all around her is falling apart. She sees that things aren't right, and often only half-understands. But she accepts that things will work out, and eventually finds her place in the world.

The structure of the book adds richness, but can be confusing if you aren't reading quickly. The footnote chapters truly show "behind the scenes" and gives the reader better insight into what shapes a person's behavior. As someone who loves history, I found the footnote chapters fascinating...what is the story behind the black and white picture of Great Grandma? If Mom and Dad's marriage is so unhappy, why? What was is like when they first met? The footnotes provide these insights, and more. However, just as footnotes in a paper can be intrusive, it's possible to lose the narrative thread. My recommendation is to try to read the narrative chapter and footnote in one sitting so you don't lose the context.

This book is definitely a keeper - and one to share. Ruby is one of the most compelling characters I've run across in a long time. Her story, and the story of her family reinforce the idea that our experiences and those of the people around us are what shape the person we become. The question I was left with after the book was: how will Ruby's experiences influence her children? (And how do my experiences influence my kids?)

Scarlet's rating: 5